GOING FOR GOLD
Phew, busy week, peeps. Coconut missed last week because he was in good old Rio! Despite the air fare there seemed plenty to be had in the way of freebies for good old Coconut, at such an international win-ding with moola splashing around. But Coconut unfortunately did get kicked out of everything he entered – premises mostly, where there was lashings of food and drink for the press reptiles (sorry, “media”) and high living Olympic “officials”. Apparently “freelance journalist” did not warrant proper accreditation to the pig troughs, the snobs, so old Coconut barely got a sniff. And his attempts to do a demonstation of beachcoming as a future Olympic event were likewise ill-starred. The golden sands of Copacabana had been so thoroughly picked over in the natural course of things there weren’t even ciggie butts to be seen, only thrown away, empty bags and purses. And to top it off, Coconut was held up by oily bandits who have now taken possession of his trusty X-Ray Beachmaster Pro metal detector. He was going for gold but just got cigarette foil. Partying with the Swedish womens volleyball team did make up somewhat for the disappointments, however. old woman from Canberra went fishing with some friends last week and they reeled a few in. Her friends suggested she have a go at scaling a fish, so she did – only to end up with a wicked fish spine in her finger. it wouldn’t get out so they called the ambos. they couldn’t get it out either so she was taken to Mossman Hospital where they numbed the finger and got to work on it. It came out, and she was able to go home, vowing to enjoy that blasted fish on a plate. to lift up and then lower the toilet seat, the way the ladies wish.