Dad’s day is way down list

Port Douglas & Mossman Gazette - - FATHER'S DAY -

AUS­TRALIA, lift your act and show dad a bit of love.

That’s the clear mes­sage from new re­search ahead of this Sun­day’s Father’s Day, which shows that Father’s Day might as well be called “Ig­nore Your Dad Day”.

Not that we dads are sulk­ing or any­thing. Ac­tu­ally, yes we are. We’re sulk­ing worse than our own chil­dren and here’s why.

Auto bits and pieces com­pany Su­percheap Auto went and sur­veyed a bunch of or­di­nary peo­ple just like they do in Fam­ily Feud, and some of the data they un­earthed would start a feud in any fam­ily.

Se­ri­ously, you won’t be­lieve some of this stuff.

Ex­am­ple. One in 10 Aus­tralians has for­got­ten Father’s Day at least once. Do the words of John Farn­ham mean noth­ing to you, peo­ple? We’re all some­one’s son ...

And how about this one. Forty-four per cent of Aus­tralians will spend less on dad than they did mum on Mum’s Day. Why the dis­crim­i­na­tion? Need we re­mind you peo­ple that it takes two to hor­i­zon­tally tango?

Here’s an­other truly shocking one. A whop­ping 12 per cent of peo­ple ad­mit they won’t even bother to buy dad a gift on Father’s Day.

Did you read that? Our en­tire pay packet van­ishes on Mr Whippy and trips to the in­door climbing gym.

And what do we get in re­turn? A big, fat, fresh air sand­wich, that’s what.

But per­haps the most shocking piece of re­search is this. It’s a list of “gift­ing oc­ca­sions”, ranked by Aus­tralians in or­der of most to least im­por­tant. Avert your eyes now, dads, if you ever want to feel good about your­self again.

GIFT­ING OC­CA­SIONS, as per­ceived by Aus­tralians, from most to least im­por­tant: 1. Birth­days 2. Christ­mas 3. Wed­dings 4. Mother’s Day 5. Wed­ding An­niver­saries 6. Pass­ing Ex­ams 7. Father’s Day 8. En­gage­ments 9. Easter 10. Valen­tine’s Day (Source: Su­percheap Auto)

Wow. Ex­ams at 6, dads at 7. “Hi, Hun­gry” to a kid who says Great. Re­ally great. So we dads “I’m Hun­gry”. God that’s are less im­por­tant than a bunch hi­lar­i­ous. of school books. Also, there would be no­body

See, what you peo­ple need to to dress kids in­side out so the re­mem­ber is how im­por­tant world can see their tags. Be­cause dads are. tags are awe­some. Yeah!

Try to imag­ine a dad free With­out dads, there would be world for a mo­ment. What would ab­so­lutely no­body to get you this hellish place be like? lost on fam­ily trips be­cause they

Well, for one thing, there’d be were too proud to take no one to tell all those ab­so­lutely di­rec­tions or use one of those hys­ter­i­cal dad jokes. fancy *GSP things.

Like the one where you go (*Yes, we spelled that wrong on pur­pose as an ironic illustration of the ten­dency of dads to be know-it-alls who get stuff wrong.)

And of course, with­out dads, there would be no­body to fix that bro­ken fence pal­ing we’ve com­pletely ig­nored for the last three years, but which we’re get­ting to any Satur­day now, just you wait.

So Aus­tralia, lash out this Sun­day.

You don’t have to buy some­thing ex­pen­sive or put hours of work into a card.

You just need to make enough of an ef­fort to say “hey dad, in the mod­ern world, you some­how man­age to hold down a job, do some­thing ap­proach­ing your share of house­work, make ex­cel­lent schnitzel, and most im­por­tantly spend more time with your kids than your own father ever did”.

That de­serves a lit­tle some­thing, don’t you think?

Pic­ture: AFP

You need dads for im­por­tant stuff like half-naked ski­ing

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