A guide to avoid on­line con­fu­sion

Port Douglas & Mossman Gazette - - NEWS -

WE all ap­pre­ci­ate the im­por­tance of com­mu­ni­cat­ing well, so what are we to make of words such as ”ghosted”, “benched” or “haunted” in text mes­sages? Or “slow fade” and “FBO”?

Wel­come to the weird and wacky do­main of on­line dat­ing. If you’re new to us­ing dat­ing apps and Valen­tine’s Day is mo­ti­vat­ing you to dis­cover “what’s out there”, read on for an update on dat­ing lingo to avoid any con­fu­sion.

“Ghost­ing” ac­cord­ing to Claire Cer­tain, global head of trends at dat­ing app Happn, is a most com­mon word and refers to a sit­u­a­tion when some­one you are dat­ing be­comes silent, with no in­di­ca­tion if they are still in­ter­ested.

Ms Cer­tain says ghost­ing can hap­pen at any point in a re­la­tion­ship.

“Usu­ally ghosts are sim­ply too afraid of con­fronta­tion to tell you they aren’t in­ter­ested in tak­ing things fur­ther.”

A sim­i­lar phe­nom­e­non but more drawn out is the “slow fade”, when some­one you are chat­ting to or see­ing grad­u­ally cuts you off, mak­ing less and less ef­fort at be­ing in touch.

”Bench­ing” is when some­one stops agree­ing to meet, but con­tin­ues to stay in con­tact on mes­sage and so­cial me­dia.

Ms Cer­tain says peo­ple often keep some­one on the bench while they play out their op­tions.

“Tun­ing” or “tuners” on the other hand, re­fer to peo­ple who are still ro­man­ti­cally in­ter­ested, but are avoid­ing be­ing up­front about it.

“Haunt­ing” is where a ro­man­tic in­ter­est who pre­vi­ously ghosted you reap­pears, but with­out di­rect con­tact.

“In­stead, they will like or fol­low your so­cial me­dia posts, haunt­ing you in cy­berspace to re­mind you they still ex­ist.”

Ms Cer­tain says if some­one is “thirsty” they are needy to the point of des­per­a­tion.

As for FBO, well, that’s “Face­book Of­fi­cial” – when you change your Face­book sta­tus to mir­ror a newly con­firmed re­la­tion­ship.

Terms such as “talk­ing” and “Net­flix and Chill” are coded terms for ca­sual dat­ing.

To avoid a lin­ger­ing “text­la­tion­ship” Ms Cer­tain en­cour­ages dat­ing app users to meet in real life as soon as they feel com­fort­able to do so.

Will you use your smart­phone to find ro­mance?

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