How to keep your love life on the right track

Port Douglas & Mossman Gazette - - NEWS @SCHOOL -

VALEN­TINE’S Day can make or break a new re­la­tion­ship — or it can pass with­out in­ci­dent for those who don’t buy into the hype, re­la­tion­ship ex­pert Nina Booy­sen says.

“Re­la­tion­ships where part­ners don’t feel ap­pre­ci­ated for the other 364 days of the year can tend to hold out hope for Valen­tine’s Day,” she said.

“While we can all ac­knowl­edge that Valen­tine’s Day is a great com­mer­cial money spin­ner, there is a sense of ro­mance at its core where cou­ples have an op­por­tu­nity to af­firm their love for one another.”

Ms Booy­sen works as both a cou­ples coun­sel­lor and sex­ual health prac­ti­tioner.

“I see clients who are strug­gling in their re­la­tion­ships and of­ten this in­cludes their in­ti­mate lives,” she said.

“The most im­por­tant thing for keep­ing a re­la­tion­ship healthy is for cou­ples to put one another’s needs first and keep the re­la­tion­ship safe.

“This means that each per­son works at sat­is­fy­ing their part­ners needs with­out ex­pect­ing any­thing in re­turn, be­cause it makes us feel good to do that.”

Ms Booy­sen said “be­tray­als” came in many dif­fer­ent forms – and were not “just sex­ual”. “When a part­ner de­cides to not tell their sig­nif­i­cant other some­thing, that is a be­trayal,” she said.

“It can be as in­no­cent as not dis­clos­ing buy­ing an ex­pen­sive pair of shoes or hav­ing gone to the pub with mates in­stead of work­ing late.”

When it came to the bed­room, Ms Booy­sen said cou­ples fell into the rou­tine of what “works the eas­i­est and quick­est”.

“Take some time this Valen­tines to bring back some fore­play, try some­thing a lit­tle dif­fer­ent,” she said.

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