LOVE IS IN THE AIR Get ready for Valen­tine’s Day

QT Magazine - - WELCOME -

LET’S face it; we have all been there. You are sin­gle and peo­ple are ask­ing you when you will start dat­ing or find a re­la­tion­ship; you are in a re­la­tion­ship and peo­ple are ask­ing when you are go­ing to get en­gaged or mar­ried.

With a wealth of dat­ing sites in­clud­ing RSVP, eHar­mony, Zoosk and Elite Sin­gles pro­fess­ing to help sin­gles find their ideal part­ner or long-term and mean­ing­ful re­la­tion­ship at the press of a but­ton, the stress on sin­gles is ev­i­dent.

This pres­sure to be in a re­la­tion­ship can of­ten be felt the most on Fe­bru­ary 14 each year as part of Valen­tine’s Day.

Al­though ini­tially a litur­gi­cal cel­e­bra­tion, it has seen many changes over the years from feast days to the cel­e­bra­tion we know that started in the Mid­dle Ages. Since the 19th cen­tury it has fo­cused on flow­ers, con­fec­tionery and greet­ing cards.

In a so­ci­ety that seems to en­dorse cou­ple­dom, Univer­sity of South­ern Queens­land School of Psy­chol­ogy, Coun­selling and Com­mu­nity lec­turer Dr Michelle Adam­son said some­times those who are not in cou­pled bliss can feel left out or in­ad­e­quate on Valen­tine’s Day, but it doesn’t have to be that way.

“So­ci­ety en­dorses be­ing in a cou­ple over be­ing sin­gle,” she said. “Look how hard we work to set sin­gle friends up on blind dates or in­clude them in out­ings so they are not on their own. “This can send the mes­sage that it’s not okay to be sin­gle.” These mes­sages are ever-present in the me­dia too. Who could for­get that fa­mous line from Jerry Maguire “You com­plete me”?

Un­for­tu­nately the flip­side of this is that with­out a part­ner you are seen as some­how in­com­plete. The hype around Valen­tine’s Day may only serve to ex­ag­ger­ate these feel­ings for some sin­gles.

If you are feel­ing some anx­i­ety to­wards Valen­tine’s Day, Dr Adam­son said there were ways to quell it.

“En­joy Valen­tine’s Day for what it is – a day to ex­press our love to those close to us – ro­man­tic part­ners, friends or fam­ily.

“Be your own Valen­tine and treat your­self to a nice box of choco­lates or get a mas­sage. Re­mem­ber that Valen­tine’s Day is just a day, and it doesn’t de­fine you or your re­la­tion­ships.”

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