Na­dia’s Stamp of Ap­proval

QT Magazine - - PARENTING & RELATIONSHPS -

IF there’s one thing I get asked all the time wherever I go, its ‘Why did you go on the TV show Mar­ried at First Sight?’

There are plenty of ru­mours that get around the tabloids post-show and I can al­most con­firm, un­less I’ve writ­ten it, I’m pretty cer­tain the ru­mours are false!

So let me set the record straight.

I never re­ally thought I would be still sin­gle, and with no real prospects in my thir­ties. Does any girl these days?

The avail­abil­ity pool de­creases, the emo­tional bag­gage gets heav­ier, phys­i­cal age starts to show and you end up a lovely re­cy­cled arte­fact (per­haps that’s more in per­cep­tion). The re­al­ity though, is that I’m re­ally busy, and full of en­ergy. I have zero chill time be­cause I have no one to chill with. I spent most of my teenage years all the way to adult­hood in re­la­tion­ships but it never pro­gressed into mar­riage and kids. I was al­ways a late bloomer; I took ages to get my first boyfriend, and have my first kiss.

I was en­ticed by op­por­tu­ni­ties for a ca­reer that led me through fash­ion, media and all things stim­u­lat­ing and fun. I was ad­dicted to my job and my dreams. I loved grow­ing up, pushing me to com­mu­ni­cate bet­ter, learn from fail­ure and my re­la­tion­ships never be­came a pri­or­ity. I never dreamt of hav­ing chil­dren. Although I knew I wanted them I just thought it would hap­pen when the time was right. Again, don’t we all ladies?

Af­ter dat­ing my last boyfriend, I took a nice long four-year lull. The drama and dam­age this short but in­tense re­la­tion­ship brought to my life took its toll on me phys­i­cally and emo­tion­ally.

I started to ques­tion my taste and choice in men, mak­ing me guarded, emo­tion­ally unavail­able, and im­pos­si­ble to date.

You are hard to judge? You don’t seem keen? Why don’t you mes­sage back? You’re al­ways so busy! Ugh. So much work.

I love a man to be a man and a woman to be a woman but I don’t like the feel­ing of be­ing vul­ner­a­ble to men as a sin­gle woman. I feel threat­ened, like I’m go­ing to be put into a com­pro­mis­ing sit­u­a­tion and or hit on be­yond my level of com­fort. It doesn’t feel nice to have men push them­selves on you or made feel guilty for not giv­ing your time or self to them.

The eas­ier al­ter­na­tive is to fol­low three sim­ple rules. Avoid. Avoid and Avoid.

I avoid eye con­tact, I avoid flirt­ing, I avoid dat­ing, I avoid all those nor­mal things we do to court one an­other.

So you ask, why did I go on the show? The an­swer is my best friend knew I was avoid­ing these things and said, ‘Na­dia, you need to try this... you have noth­ing to lose. You are im­pul­sive, you have made your­self too busy to meet some­one, and plus, I’d en­joy watch­ing you on this show.’

Things most def­i­nitely hap­pen for a rea­son and this whole re­al­ity TV/rat­ings bo­nanza hap­pened, re­sult­ing in Na­dia be­ing recog­nised ev­ery­where I go.

To be hon­est, I don’t re­gret it. I learned more about my­self and I shared it with the na­tion.

I lis­tened to the ex­perts and I gave things a fair go, and I’m glad things panned out the way they did. Life goes on.

Who knows what’s round the cor­ner?

Na­dia

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