What DUMB BOSSES Should Know …

Reader's Digest Asia Pacific - - Humour Special -

The Devil’s in the De­tails

It’s been a rough few years for Chilean su­per vi­sors. The head of the na­tional mint lost his job af­ter the coun­try’s new 50-peso coin was re­leased. In­stead of “República de Chile”, it read “República de Chiie”. Bonus

stu­pid­ity: it took about a year for the mis­take to be dis­cov­ered. Mean­while, in the city of Val­divia, the na­tion’s first draw­bridge was un­veiled. Sadly, it will have to be re­con­structed, since at least one deck was ac­ci­den­tally built up­side down.


In June 2014, 15,000 staff mem­bers at Del­haize Bel­gium, a large Euro­pean food re­tailer, re­ceived a let­ter from newly ap­pointed CEO, De­nis Knoops. He an­nounced that the com­pany was un­der­go­ing re­struc­tur­ing and that there would likely be some re­dun­dan­cies. Con­cerned for his em­ployee’s men­tal wel­fare, he of­ferred them a tele­phone num­ber for psy­cho­log­i­cal coun­selling. How­ever, the num­ber was writ­ten in­cor­rectly and in­stead of con­nect­ing to an ad­vice line, it put un­sus­pect­ing call­ers through to a firm of bailiffs spe­cial­is­ing in debt re­cov­ery. The com­pany later apol­o­gised for the mis­take.

If You Don’t Have Some­thing Nice to Say…

Iwas eight months preg­nant when I went to visit a former col­league in the of­fice I had been work­ing at un­til re­cently. I was as­ton­ished when I met my former boss and he com­mented how I had put on heaps of weight. “That’s nor­mal”, I replied. “But you gained a lot. How come?” he asked. I couldn’t help laugh­ing and said: “I am preg­nant”. “Oh,” he said in em­bar­rass­ment, and left.


Boss to un­der­ling: “When I told you that you smelled like ba­con grease, it was a com­pli­ment!”


When I in­formed my boss that I had 2000 over­time hours and that I needed the money, he told me: “Sell your house and you will have enough money.”


Af­ter I had qui­etly solved a cri­sis, my boss ex­claimed: “Stop be­ing all calm! You’re do­ing that thing again where you get all calm on me. Do you un­der­stand why I’m up­set? I want you to be up­set too.”


Boss on look­ing at a photo of me: “Wow! What a great pic­ture! You know how some peo­ple look so good in per­son but come out look­ing just aw­ful in pic­tures? With you, it’s just the op­po­site.”

Em­ploy­ees are Just Grate­ful to Have Jobs, Right?

“Yes­ter­day I was fired from my work be­cause as my boss told me I didn’t work with enough en­thu­si­asm. I worked as a dish­washer.”


Afast- food worker in the US re­ported this con­ver­sa­tion with his boss:

Man­ager: Can you stay another four hours? Your co-worker has drunk some wine and can’t come in.

Me: Isn’t it her wed­ding day to­day?

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