The Great Tweet-off: First Date Edition Reluctantly went on a blind date through a mutual friend. Halfway through the date, we discovered that we are related.
When US late-night host Jimmy Fallon asked viewers for their #WorstFirstDate tweets, he knew he’d struck comedy gold. I thought he was into fitness because he had on an ankle weight. He was actually on parole and it was an ankle monitor. @LINDACHILDERS1
He still lived with his parents, so he had to sneak me in and that’s when I found out about the Ninja Turtle sheets … @TINYELVISBKWD @CHRISKONYA98 I went to a fancy place. He ordered, and ate, the most expensive food on the menu. He went to wash his hands and never returned. @MC_ARTHUR123
My mum dropped me off at the movie in her cop car. Then she lied and said, “When she gets nervous she smells like meatloaf.” @DAFLOYDSTA
Met a girl online and had her over for dinner. Heard ripping behind me while cooking. She was opening my mail. @WALLYSVOICE