The Great Tweet-off: First Date Edi­tion Re­luc­tantly went on a blind date through a mu­tual friend. Half­way through the date, we dis­cov­ered that we are re­lated.

Reader's Digest Asia Pacific - - Crime Watch -

When US late-night host Jimmy Fal­lon asked view­ers for their #WorstFirstDate tweets, he knew he’d struck com­edy gold. I thought he was into fit­ness be­cause he had on an an­kle weight. He was ac­tu­ally on pa­role and it was an an­kle mon­i­tor. @LINDACHILDERS1

He still lived with his par­ents, so he had to sneak me in and that’s when I found out about the Ninja Tur­tle sheets … @TINYELVISBKWD @CHRISKONYA98 I went to a fancy place. He or­dered, and ate, the most ex­pen­sive food on the menu. He went to wash his hands and never re­turned. @MC_ARTHUR123

My mum dropped me off at the movie in her cop car. Then she lied and said, “When she gets ner­vous she smells like meat­loaf.” @DAFLOYDSTA

Met a girl on­line and had her over for din­ner. Heard rip­ping be­hind me while cook­ing. She was open­ing my mail. @WALLYSVOICE

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