Macca in top form
The new season is under way and the cream has risen straight to the top.
After missing out on a finals place last season, Macca has recruited heavily and the results are already on the board.
Macca has drafted Paul ‘The President’ Kennedy and Ruth ‘I’m Ruthless’ Barton and this incredible franchise is already on top of the ladder.
Ruthless is in career-best form and has demolished her first two opponents, Pacey and Bradley ‘The Kid’ Allison.
Ruthless leads the number three seed individual award and is the hot favourite to secure this title.
At her press conference she said, ‘‘I just want to take each point one at a time, and be ruthless.’’ She certainly is.
All Stars are second on the ladder and look set to play a big part in this season.
Noel ‘The Ace’ Pearson is two from two and it seems the legend is just getting stronger.
He silenced the press gallery who chanted ‘‘The Greatest’’ as he entered the room for his weekly press conference.
‘‘I’m taking it one week at a time. I hate losing but I’m not the greatest, I’m just The Ace,’’ he said.
The Ace has recruited David ‘The Lord of the Rings’ Hall and Sally ‘The Queen of the North East’ Littlewood for this season and is already embroiled in controversy.
Mark ‘T-Rex’ Boland has questioned how they are keeping under the salary cap.
‘‘We are all under scrutiny with the total player payments. How can The Ace afford these two stars? I can’t afford my injury bills and The Ace drafts superstars — how does that work?’’ he said.
T-Rex, after an injury hiatus, has reformed his team T-Rex Legends and secured the services of the fashion guru Chad Parker and Pacey.
After one round T-Rex’s investment is in tatters as he again succumbed to injury and hobbled through his match against Paul ‘The King’ Kennedy.
T-Rex won in four and immediately left the courts. He cancelled his press conference and headed straight to the X-ray facility to scan his latest injury.
Rumours are that the old dinosaur may finally be finished, but we’ve heard that before.
Bulldogs, after losing last season’s final, have lost the first two rounds and are already being compared to the AFL’s Sydney Swans.
Team captain Colin ‘The Headband’ McBean refused to answer questions comparing Zaine ‘The Hyphen’ Lewin-Hoy and Bradley ‘The Kid’ Allison to Buddy Franklin.
‘‘Leave the kids alone. We are rebuilding. In 10 years’ time these kids will be superstars. Talk to me then,’’ he said.
Crumpets had the bye followed by a loss against All Stars.
Tim ‘The Plumber’s Crack’ Crump was a no-show, but his girls ‘The Greek Goddess’ and ‘Lady Gaga’ are in good form and look set to keep the flag flying for this highly successful team. Keep calling your lets,
— The Boaster