The Vampire Diaries
Better than last year – but is that enough?
The Vampire Diaries becoming increasingly review proof. What can you say, other than, “It’s The Vampire Diaries, you know the score”. If we tell you that – so far – season six is slightly better than season five ( which it is), that’s hardly going to get you tuning in if you’re not currently watching the show,
because you know we’re talking a matter of degrees. It’ll still be a vamp soap with a bunch of characters all playing lip- locking merry- goround with the occasional bloody death.
We may as well tell you that that the soundtrack is mildly less irritating this year. There’s a reason for that. Some of the early episodes are partially set in 1994, so the usual whiny pop from artists you’ve never heard of is replaced by some proper classics from that year by bands that you have. This is good. But is that really going to make a difference to whether you watch it or not?
Time travel suggests some major changes going on. Well, yeah. And no. This is The Vampire Diaries. It can Vampire Diaries- ise any new plot element. So yeah, bad boy vampire Damon and witch Bonnie – both presumed dead by self- sacrifice – have instead ended up in a witch- created 1994 that looks just like Mystic Falls except the place is deserted aside from an imprisoned psycho. Interesting, but not time travelly. They may as well have become trapped in a deserted Burger King.
The other big gimmick is the magical barrier around Mystic Falls that doesn’t allow the supernatural to exist within it ( meaning all the vampires are stuck outside). The writers have been having some fun with this concept, but you know its days are numbered.
Other than that, it’s business as usual: slick, witty on occasions, nicely gruesome when it needs to be and Damon’s fruit machine eyes are fascinatingly bizarre. But it seems to be on constant loop – and that’s the epitome of the law of diminishing returns. Dave Golder Warehouse 13 was inspired by the final shot of Raiders Of The Lost Ark anyway.” TheDiktor: “I’ve never heard that.” AllSeeingIvy: “Some truths don’t need to be documented, they just need to be repeated
Continuity: Flynn ( Noah Wyle) mentions having killed Dracula, which he did in the third TV movie, Curse Of The Judas Chalice.
It’s Wossisname: Christian Kane, who plays Jake Stone, is best know to telefantasy viewers as demon lawyer Lindsey McDonald in Angel.
Nitpicking: Among the many Doctor Who parallels in the opening episode is a reference to a “fixed point in space”. Which just seems to be an American way of saying, “a place”.
Best Lines: Eve: “I need an answer.” Flynn: “This is my answer.” Eve: “Walking away quickly is not an answer.” enough times on the internet to become fact.” TheDiktor: “True enough. So was this the same set- up? The same cast?” AllSeeingIvy: “Surprisingly yes, though you won’t see as much of ER’s Noah Wyle, Third Rock’s Jane Curtin and Bob Newheart in the future. They’re handing over to the new team.” TheDiktor: “At which point it will be indistinguishable from Warehouse 13, except the jokes are crapper. Librarians/ agents travel the world to find mystical artefacts to bring back to the library/ warehouse. The Librarian may have got there first, but if Warehouse 13 did it better in the meantime, why bother?” AllSeeingIvy: “It’s not that bad…” TheDicktor: “There are some fun moments, but it’s pretty lame overall with obvious gags, cheap props, lots of shouting and a then- this, then- this, then- this plotting style. And why is Noah Wyle doing a bad impression of the Tennant and Smith Doctor combined? Bow tie and baseball boots, the bit where he becomes fascinated with the word ‘ vex’ – very Moffat.” AllSeeingIvy: “You won’t have to suffer for long.” TheDiktor: “You’re right. I’m not bothering with the next episode.” Dave Golder
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