GET SPIDEY RIGHT !

Five easy fran­chise fixes

SFX: The Sci-Fi and Fantasy Magazine - - Spider- man -

DON’T TELL US THE ORI­GIN… AGAIN!

We get it. Boy meets spi­der. Spi­der bites boy. This ori­gin tale is now as crush­ingly over­fa­mil­iar as a gun- blasted Martha Wayne’s fly­ing pearls and if you force us to wit­ness it again we swear we shall set fire to cinema seats. Re­cap it in the ti­tle se­quence if you must but for the love of Ditko, move on!

KEEP HIM GROUNDED!

Sure, Marvel, you now have the chance to put Spi­der- Man in the same frame as Thanos. But re­sist the temp­ta­tion to fling him into cos­mic battle. As Stan Lee al­ways knew, he works best as an ur­ban cham­pion, part of the grime and chaos of New York. He may swing be­tween sky­scrapers but at heart he’s strictly street level.

BRING BACK THE BU­GLE!

You know what we re­ally missed about the An­drew Garfield movies? New York’s most ir­re­spon­si­ble, crowd- bait­ing tabloid the Daily Bu­gle. More specif­i­cally we missed JK Sim­mons’ hi­lar­i­ous, film- steal­ing turns as J Jonah Jame­son (“Science Squid!”). Screw the con­ti­nu­ity is­sues: bring him back. You need him.

DE- COOL PETER PARKER!

An­drew Garfield’s a fine ac­tor – and his on­screen chem­istry with Emma Stone made those films – but there was al­ways some­thing weirdly off about his Peter Parker. A lit­tle too geek- cool, per­haps, a lit­tle too dick­ish, a lit­tle too skate­boardy. Re­turn Peter Parker to a gen­uine nerd loser. It makes his hero­ism all the more tri­umphant.

MORE RAN­DOM VIL­LAINS!

Enough with ev­ery su­pervil­lain in Man­hat­tan hav­ing a per­sonal con­nec­tion to Peter Parker. It reeks of screen­writ­ing class. Let Spi­der- Man’s world feel more ran­dom, more danger­ous ( and please, no te­dious old Oscorp neatly tieing it all to­gether). You’ll be telling us Kraven the Hunter is Aunt May’s salsa class teacher next…

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