Star Trek: Voyager “Parallax”
First stop in stardate 1995: the Star Trek franchise, at perhaps its lowest ebb. We beam in for only the second episode of Voyager. Nick: I don’t like this ship design. It looks like a technologically advanced hotel toilet. Lost in the Delta Quadrant, 70,000 light years from Earth, the USS Voyager’s crew have joined forces with a bunch of Maquis freedom fighters. Fascinating conflict is guaranteed, surely? Rich: The whole point of the two crews was it was meant to be antagonistic, but they just forgot all that after about five episodes. Nick: They should have had a big dance- off, like that Jason Nevins vs Run– DMC video. After an argument about realigning the lateral plasma conduit, an engineer has a broken nose. Ian: Understandable. I feel like punching someone in the face every time I hear technobabble too. People discuss whether halfKlingon engineer B’Elanna Torres should be court- martialled. Nick: It’s all about management disputes! What happened to the final frontier? Incessantly cheery Delta- quadrant local Neelix proposes that they start growing their own food. “I can do some wonderful things with vegetables,” he boasts. Ian: Stick one in your mouth big enough to stop you talking? Nick: It looks like someone’s taken a Stanley knife to his nose. Which is almost understandable. Ian: He’s the sentient equivalent of a novelty tie.
Rich’s house Left to right: Nick, Ian, Rich, Jordan.