TEEN WOLF

Spooky sur­geons dis­rupt the pack

SFX: The Sci-Fi and Fantasy Magazine - - Viewscreen -

UK Broad­cast TBC

US Broad­cast MTV, fin­ished

Episodes Re­viewed 5.01- 5.10

SCOTT Grad­u­a­tion loom­ing. I feel sad.

STILES I feel sad too. The end of an era. I bet this is the be­gin­ning of the end of a won­der­ful bro­mance.

SCOTT and STILES hug.

STILES Scott! Are you pleased to see me? Or is that a smok­ing gun in your pocket?

SCOTT Uh, that’s my in­haler.

STILES I never knew you used an in­haler.

SCOTT Yeah, it’s a new plot de­vice…

En­ter THE FE­MALE CO- STARS.

MALIA Where’s Liam? Have

you been train­ing him how to be a were­wolf ?

STILES Nah, we chained him to a tree un­til the rain washes all the prod­uct out of his hair so he doesn’t have the same hair­cut as ev­ery other male guest star this sea­son. We’re be­gin­ning to look like a show about clones. Speak­ing of which…

En­ter THEO.

SCOTT I thought you were Liam.

THEO It’s the hair. Now I’m a were­wolf, so can I be in your pack?

SCOTT I’m sus­pi­cious.

THEO Use your in­haler.

SCOTT [ us­ing in­haler] Ick. Now I feel worse. Yeah sure, Theo.

Episodes go by. Teens with the same hair as LIAM and THEO are kid­napped, in­jected with mer­cury and dis­carded.

DREAD DOC­TOR [ to THEO] Our ex­per­i­ments to give ev­ery teenager in Bea­con Hills the same hair­cut are fail­ing. We need to elim­i­nate Scott’s geeky hair! How is your plan to turn the pack against each other go­ing?

THEO Bril­liantly. Stiles has ac­ci­den­tally killed some­one and gone all sulky. Kira is go­ing bonkers. Scott hasn’t worked out his in­haler is killing him. They all hate each other. Bro­mance is dead.

DREAD DOC­TOR Ex­cel­lent!

SCOTT works out his in­haler is killing him.

SCOTT Theo. You traitor.

THEO Never trust a char­ac­ter in­tro­duced from nowhere with such per­fect hair.

SCOTT But now, we fight.

SCOTT defeats THEO and the DREAD DOC­TOR.

OUR HE­ROES Hur­rah!

LY­DIA But what about the supernatural cop who’s been dis­pos­ing of bod­ies all sea­son. What’s he? And why has Kira sud­denly been writ­ten out? And where’s that sub­plot with Malia’s desert wolf mum go­ing?

STILES Who cares? All the au­di­ence wants to see is this…

SCOTT and STILES rip off their shirts and em­brace. Dave Golder

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