Spooky surgeons disrupt the pack
UK Broadcast TBC
US Broadcast MTV, finished
Episodes Reviewed 5.01- 5.10
SCOTT Graduation looming. I feel sad.
STILES I feel sad too. The end of an era. I bet this is the beginning of the end of a wonderful bromance.
SCOTT and STILES hug.
STILES Scott! Are you pleased to see me? Or is that a smoking gun in your pocket?
SCOTT Uh, that’s my inhaler.
STILES I never knew you used an inhaler.
SCOTT Yeah, it’s a new plot device…
Enter THE FEMALE CO- STARS.
MALIA Where’s Liam? Have
you been training him how to be a werewolf ?
STILES Nah, we chained him to a tree until the rain washes all the product out of his hair so he doesn’t have the same haircut as every other male guest star this season. We’re beginning to look like a show about clones. Speaking of which…
SCOTT I thought you were Liam.
THEO It’s the hair. Now I’m a werewolf, so can I be in your pack?
SCOTT I’m suspicious.
THEO Use your inhaler.
SCOTT [ using inhaler] Ick. Now I feel worse. Yeah sure, Theo.
Episodes go by. Teens with the same hair as LIAM and THEO are kidnapped, injected with mercury and discarded.
DREAD DOCTOR [ to THEO] Our experiments to give every teenager in Beacon Hills the same haircut are failing. We need to eliminate Scott’s geeky hair! How is your plan to turn the pack against each other going?
THEO Brilliantly. Stiles has accidentally killed someone and gone all sulky. Kira is going bonkers. Scott hasn’t worked out his inhaler is killing him. They all hate each other. Bromance is dead.
DREAD DOCTOR Excellent!
SCOTT works out his inhaler is killing him.
SCOTT Theo. You traitor.
THEO Never trust a character introduced from nowhere with such perfect hair.
SCOTT But now, we fight.
SCOTT defeats THEO and the DREAD DOCTOR.
OUR HEROES Hurrah!
LYDIA But what about the supernatural cop who’s been disposing of bodies all season. What’s he? And why has Kira suddenly been written out? And where’s that subplot with Malia’s desert wolf mum going?
STILES Who cares? All the audience wants to see is this…
SCOTT and STILES rip off their shirts and embrace. Dave Golder