HERCULES/ HERCULES II
released Out Now! 1983/1986 | PG | BLU-RAY/DVD Director luigi Cozzi Cast lou Ferrigno, sybil danning, William Berger, sonia Viviani
Lou Ferrigno! He’s like an ’80s version of Vin Diesel, but without the acting talent. Lou Ferrigno! More than a green muscle-clad Hulk, he’s also a tanned muscleclad Herc. Lou Ferrigno! His beard and his pecs twitch in harmony as he faces robot dragons and goddesses in swimsuits.
Hercules mashes together fantasy and sci-fi tropes with such glee it surely must be a spoof. Its overlong opening narration tells us that Zeus, who lives on the Moon, grants superhuman strength to one human infant in order to balance the war between mankind and the forces of Chaos. Hercules grows up living in a stone cottage straight from The Flintstones. He punches a bear and then literally flings it into space. He uses a battering ram to win a wrestling contest and finishes by flinging it into space. If you’re thinking that sounds pure five-star material, let’s agree Hercules has chutzpah. But it has all the logic and polish of a school pantomime. There’s even a pause after evil Ariadne cackles, “We’ll FEED him to the SHARKS!” that’s the perfect length for you to shout “OH NO YOU WON’T!”
The Adventures Of Hercules II has Zeus sending Hercules back to Earth to find the gods’ seven thunderbolts. Along the way he joins forces with Glaucia and Urania – both in swimsuits, of course. The three battle several monsters, plus King Minos, who for some reason turns into a giant glowing ape – it’s okay though, because Hercules turns himself into a giant glowing dinosaur and fights him in space. There’s a decent twist 15 minutes from the end but the animated elements are laughably trippy. Still: Lou Ferrigno!
Extras Just trailers. Dave Bradley
And you thought there were no more Page Three models.