Star trek Vi: the UndiS­coV­ered coUn­try 1991

SFX - - Trek 50 Couch Potato: Klingons -

It’s the orig­i­nal Trek crew’s fi­nal voy­age on the big screen, one of the great even­num­bered Treks and a tale loaded with po­lit­i­cal al­le­gory... The USS Ex­cel­sior, cap­tained by one Hikaru Sulu, is out cat­a­logu­ing gaseous anom­alies. IAN Gaseous anom­alies. That’s what I joined Starfleet for. NICK I al­ways thought the Ex­cel­sior was a spec­tac­u­larly ugly look­ing ship. JOR­DAN I love that Sulu has his own Ex­cel­sior-branded teacup. They prob­a­bly have a gift shop where they sell pen­cil sharp­en­ers. RICH And now it’s time for one of the most in­flu­en­tial vis­ual ef­fects of all time. The Klin­gon moon of Praxis ex­plodes, fir­ing out a shock­wave that would later be­come fa­mil­iar to view­ers of the Star Wars Spe­cial Edi­tions. One bridge of­fi­cer ad­mits he “can­not con­firm the ex­is­tence of Praxis”. IAN There’s an ex­is­ten­tial cri­sis right there. JOR­DAN “I am the ship’s ex­is­ten­tial of­fi­cer, En­sign Sartre.” Months later, Fed­er­a­tion big­wigs and the En­ter­prise crew are briefed about the Klin­gon cri­sis. IAN So this is two months on and none of them knew about this? NICK Don’t they have Twit­ter? Kirk and crew throw around un-PC re­marks about Klin­gons that “can’t be trusted”. RICH How can you trust a Klin­gon? They’re not even con­sis­tent about their fore­heads. The En­ter­prise plays host to Klin­gon High Chan­cel­lor Gorkon and his en­tourage – in­clud­ing the Shake­spear­e­spout­ing Gen­eral Chang. JOR­DAN Gorkon’s meant to be Gor­bachev, right?

RICH Yeah, it feels kind of un­sub­tle now, but it was clever at the time with Ch­er­nobyl. Af­ter Chan­cel­lor Gorkon is as­sas­si­nated, Kirk and McCoy take the blame and do time on the bar­ren Klin­gon prison planet Rura Pe­hthe. They’re even­tu­ally res­cued by Spock and co, and back on the En­ter­prise bridge just in time to face off against Gen­eral Chang on a pro­to­type Bird of Prey that can FIRE WHEN CLOAKED!

Chang taunts Kirk by quot­ing Shake­speare at him – in English rather than the orig­i­nal Klin­gon. RICH Do you think other Klin­gons avoid Chang at par­ties be­cause he’s known as a Shake­speare bore? NICK Some­body has ac­tu­ally put on Ham­let in Klin­gon. With Chang’s ship de­stroyed, the en­tire En­ter­prise crew beam down for a team out­ing at the Khit­o­mer peace con­fer­ence – con­ve­niently saving the Fed­er­a­tion Pres­i­dent from an­other as­sas­si­na­tion at­tempt. NICK It’s just on the verge of Dad’s Army, isn’t it?

Show­ing off the branded crock­ery.

Who d’you think you are kid­ding, Mr Klin­gon?

Come Dine With Me, Fed­er­a­tion style.

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