Star trek Vi: the UndiScoVered coUntry 1991
It’s the original Trek crew’s final voyage on the big screen, one of the great evennumbered Treks and a tale loaded with political allegory... The USS Excelsior, captained by one Hikaru Sulu, is out cataloguing gaseous anomalies. IAN Gaseous anomalies. That’s what I joined Starfleet for. NICK I always thought the Excelsior was a spectacularly ugly looking ship. JORDAN I love that Sulu has his own Excelsior-branded teacup. They probably have a gift shop where they sell pencil sharpeners. RICH And now it’s time for one of the most influential visual effects of all time. The Klingon moon of Praxis explodes, firing out a shockwave that would later become familiar to viewers of the Star Wars Special Editions. One bridge officer admits he “cannot confirm the existence of Praxis”. IAN There’s an existential crisis right there. JORDAN “I am the ship’s existential officer, Ensign Sartre.” Months later, Federation bigwigs and the Enterprise crew are briefed about the Klingon crisis. IAN So this is two months on and none of them knew about this? NICK Don’t they have Twitter? Kirk and crew throw around un-PC remarks about Klingons that “can’t be trusted”. RICH How can you trust a Klingon? They’re not even consistent about their foreheads. The Enterprise plays host to Klingon High Chancellor Gorkon and his entourage – including the Shakespearespouting General Chang. JORDAN Gorkon’s meant to be Gorbachev, right?
RICH Yeah, it feels kind of unsubtle now, but it was clever at the time with Chernobyl. After Chancellor Gorkon is assassinated, Kirk and McCoy take the blame and do time on the barren Klingon prison planet Rura Pehthe. They’re eventually rescued by Spock and co, and back on the Enterprise bridge just in time to face off against General Chang on a prototype Bird of Prey that can FIRE WHEN CLOAKED!
Chang taunts Kirk by quoting Shakespeare at him – in English rather than the original Klingon. RICH Do you think other Klingons avoid Chang at parties because he’s known as a Shakespeare bore? NICK Somebody has actually put on Hamlet in Klingon. With Chang’s ship destroyed, the entire Enterprise crew beam down for a team outing at the Khitomer peace conference – conveniently saving the Federation President from another assassination attempt. NICK It’s just on the verge of Dad’s Army, isn’t it?
Showing off the branded crockery.
Who d’you think you are kidding, Mr Klingon?
Come Dine With Me, Federation style.