Star trek: the next Gen­er­a­tion


SFX: The Sci-Fi and Fantasy Magazine - - Trek 50 Couch Potato: Klingons -

Our Klin­gon mis­sion ends in sea­son three of TNG, as Klin­gon com­man­der Kurn ar­rives on the En­ter­prise as part of an ex­change pro­gramme.

NICK They weren’t good at their pre-ti­tles on TNG were they. It’s not like Apollo’s hand, or “They’re all dressed as Nazis!” This is a man. Ar­riv­ing on a ship. RICH At least Kurn looks cool next to Worf, though. That early TNG bob hair­cut was a tricky thing to pull off – and Worf didn’t man­age it. Wes­ley Crusher moans that Kurn doesn’t like him very much. RICH You must be used to that, Wes­ley. NICK It’s like hu­man re­sources is what pow­ers this show. My the­ory is that clas­sic Trek is about ex­plo­ration, this is about go­ing to work. Pi­card and his crew treat Kurn to a slap-up meal. Sadly, most of the food is al­ready dead. NICK A Klin­gon hold­ing salad? Does that hap­pen? Do you get veg­e­tar­i­ans on Kronos? JOR­DAN Just pescatar­i­ans. NICK This is very dif­fer­ent to the suave guys from the ’60s. They’d have loved this din­ner party. RICH They wouldn’t have had a prob­lem with crock­ery and cut­lery. Kurn com­plains that the food is much too bland for the stom­ach of a Klin­gon. NICK “But I like my Cae­sar salad,” says Worf. Kurn re­veals that he’s ac­tu­ally Worf ’s younger brother, and that Worf must take re­spon­si­bil­ity for, er, the sins of their fa­ther who stands ac­cused of col­lab­o­rat­ing with Ro­mu­lans. RICH The EastEn­ders theme kicks in... IAN Surely this bit should have been in the teaser. JOR­DAN Why didn’t he come in and say this straight away? It’s such an ar­ti­fi­cial con­struct. Pi­card redi­rects AN EN­TIRE STAR­SHIP to the Klin­gon home­world to sort Worf ’s predica­ment. RICH Is this our first ever trip to Kronos? IAN It might be. NICK This court­room stuff sums up why I hate mod­ern Klin­gons. They just shout at each other in overblown lan­guage. How many times does the word “hon­our” come up in an episode? IAN Honor Black­man would be revered as a de­ity. NICK All sub­tlety goes out the win­dow when you’ve got Klin­gons. IAN And also peo­ple. NICK Sud­denly it feels like a Vik­ing reen­act­ment. Imag­ine if peo­ple on Corona­tion Street acted like this. Be­cause it’s Klin­gon, we ac­cept it. IAN It’s dull, in­nit. NICK What I’d give for one Shat­ner dropkick.

Klin­gons on the… thingy, you know.

The Bird of Prey: still a de­sign clas­sic.

“I’ve got some gos­sip on Mr Worf...”

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