OUT­LANDER

Mac To The Fu­ture, Part Deux

SFX: The Sci-Fi and Fantasy Magazine - - Viewscreen -

UK Broad­cast Ama­zon Prime, fin­ished US Broad­cast Starz, fin­ished Episodes Re­viewed 2.01-2.12

Scot­land, 1948. CLAIRE runs down a road in an 18th cen­tury dress, preg­nant.

CLAIRE Cul­lo­den! Cul­lo­den! Who won at Cul­lo­den?

SCOT­TISH EX­TRA Och, ye’re just rub­bing it in, sasse­nach.

CLAIRE Then I didn’t change his­tory!

SCOT­TISH EX­TRA Spoil­ers!

Flashback: Le Harve, 1745.

JAMIE I’m nae con­vinced ask­ing Scots­men to lose a fight against the English is a good idea.

CLAIRE Well, no. There’s a sim­pler way. You go to Paris, be­come a top wine mer­chant, make the right friends and con­vince Prince Char­lie not to fund the Ja­co­bite re­bel­lion.

Paris, 1746, a bed­room

JAMIE I’ve made all the right friends at court.

CLAIRE Have you con­vinced the Prince not to fund the re­bel­lion?

JAMIE No, but we had a great time at a whore house.

Paris, 1746. Ver­sailles.

CLAIRE There’s Black Jack Ran­dall!

JAMIE Where?

CLAIRE Over there. Bug­ger­ing a kit­ten. You must not kill him, Jamie. He’s my 20th cen­tury’s hus­band’s an­ces­tor.

JAMIE Hang on, so mak­ing one small change to his­tory is bad but chang­ing the out­come of Cul­lo­den is good? JACK Hello Jamie. Arse still sore?

JAMIE I chal­lenge you to a duel.

CLAIRE Jamie no!

JAMIE Don’t worry. Think of the make up sex!

JACK I ac­cept the duel. Ouch, you’ve cut my balls off.

A muddy field, 1746.

CLAIRE How do we pre­vent Cul­lo­den now?

JAMIE We don’t. We join the Ja­co­bite army and help them win it!

CLAIRE and JAMIE join the Ja­co­bites. Lots of old friends die or get killed. CLAIRE and JAMIE have lots of sex. Noth­ing al­ters the in­ex­orable march to­wards Cul­lo­den. JACK Hello again. Ex­cuse me while I punch the dead body of my brother.

CLAIRE That’s the most hu­man thing you’ve done in two sea­sons.

JACK Do you still pre­dict I shall die at Cul­lo­den?

CLAIRE Sweet F-all we’ve done has changed his­tory. You might as well marry my friend Mary be­cause I know she’ll only have to put up with you for a cou­ple of days.

JACK I’d rather have Jamie.

CLAIRE Don’t even go there.

JACK So the whole sea­son has been point­less?

CLAIRE Well, I did get lots of break-up sex and a new baby. Dave Golder

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