What we’ve been playing with this month
“The Force Is Strong With This One” claims this Darth Vader wash bag (price £19.99), with dazzling originality. It’s just one of a wide range from Half Moon Bay which also includes Batman, Superman and Chewbacca designs. Two separate compartments make room for your soapy and toothpastey stuff. Incidentally, can you imagine how difficult it must have been for the Lord of the Sith to give himself a good wash? He didn’t need those Force chokes to make adversaries keel over, he could have just gone and stood next to them.
Do they eat pizza in that galaxy far, far away? If so they’re probably topped with blue cheese and heavily processed Bantha meat, and they use something like these Star Wars pizza cutters (FPI price £8.99-£12.99; product codes D5959, D5960, D5961, B8096) to slice them up. The Darth Vader lightsaber model is the most impressive, thanks to its decent recreation of the weapon’s hilt. The Boba Fett, R2-D2 and Vader clobber models just come with a basic paint job – though these are rather more comfortable to hold. All four emit an authentic Star Wars sound effect as you cut.
Why’s Chewbacca on this Star Wars wallet (price £14.99)? Why not the cheeky space smuggler known as Han Solo? He’s a guy much more likely to need somewhere to stash his amoral earnings. What does a Wookiee need money for anyway? Aside from shampoo and hairdryers, obviously. Anyway, this 100% polyurethane accessory (calm yourself ) has six pockets – one with a zip, one with a small plastic window. Chewie’s bandolier adorns the back of it, his
face the front. Just think, you’ll be able to put your Rogue One tickets in it soon. Hurrah!
Another month, another array of ping pong-ballheaded figures. If Jared Leto had been consulted on the design of these Suicide Squad
Dorbz (FPI price £8.49 each; product codes F3605, F3606, F3607, F3608) then the Joker one would no doubt squirt chilli sauce in your eye, or come packaged inside a box full of used tampons and dead bluebottles. Thankfully, he wasn’t. All the same, it’s tempting to send one to Will Smith so he can work off a little steam with the aid of a lump hammer. These hefty ceramic Star
Wars steins (FPI price £7.99 each; product codes D5985, D5986, D5987, D5988, D5989) have smart word-art designs – so Boba Fett’s helmet, for example, is formed from phrases like “jet pack”, “EE3 rifle” and “Bounty Hunter”, while the Chewbacca stein features, er, “growl” and “grunt”. Also available are Chewbacca, Yoda, R2-D2 and Darth Vader – which utilises a dark grey-on-black design which is very Sith, but not very legible. They’re nice and chunky and perfect for either beer or really,
really big cups of tea (Imperial measurement fans, we’re talking 20 fluid ounces of capacity). You could even make a chicken Cup-A-Soup – if you’re gross and still living in 1985.
That antisocial cuss Ming the Merciless loves bombarding planet Earth with freaky weather and deathrays. Now he’s has got his hands on a deadly new cuteness beam, resulting in these Flash Gordon
Pop! vinyl figures (FPI price £8.99 each; product codes: F2993, F2994, F2995, F2996). One zap reduced the noble Flash to a mere 9cm in height. But Flash fought back, with the help of bellowing beard-bird Prince Vultan (not pictured), giving Ming and metal-faced lech General Klytus a taste of their own evil medicine. Aw, lookit the silly ickle bad men!