Trans­form­ers: the Last Knight

You just can’t get the staff

SFX - - Reviews - Sam Ashurst

re­leased OUT NOW! 2017 | 12 | Blu-ray (4K/3K/stan­dard)/ dvd/ vod Di­rec­tor Michael Bay Cast Mark Wahlberg, laura Had­dock, Josh duhamel, stan­ley Tucci

Much was made of Michael Bay’s de­ci­sion to bring in a team of scribes to over­see Trans­form­ers 5’s new mythol­ogy – Bay couldn’t go two in­ter­views with­out men­tion­ing his writ­ers’ room, a fran­chise first. Sadly, their main con­tri­bu­tion to the se­ries is to prove the an­cient adage “Too many cooks spoil the CGI boom-fest”.

We think it’s about a magic staff gifted to hu­man­ity in the fifth cen­tury, which is still caus­ing trou­ble in the 21st, but the script’s so over­com­pli­cated by 20 writ­ers hav­ing their own plots (evil Op­ti­mus, Me­ga­tron’s Sui­cide Squad, Cuba, the re­turn of Cy­bertron, Trans­form­ers through­out his­tory, what­ever Mark Wahlberg is do­ing, a post-apoc­a­lyp­tic kid, Di­nobot ba­bies, Star Wars ref­er­ences, bring­ing more women into the fran­chise with­out re­ally giv­ing them any­thing to do) that it’s hard to tell.

It’s not just the script that’s prob­lem­atic – this is the most in­co­her­ently shot Trans­form­ers movie yet, with truly bizarre as­pect ra­tio jug­gling, shift­ing be­tween three widths, fre­quently in the same scene. It’s so non­sen­si­cal it feels like sab­o­tage.

Ex­tras The ex­tras at­tempt to ex­plain what’s go­ing on, with a 20-minute look at the his­tor­i­cal mythol­ogy (which com­pletely breaks the pre­vi­ous canon of the other films in the se­ries, but what­ever) as well as briefer glimpses at Cy­bertron and in­di­vid­ual char­ac­ters/sets. Add what ap­pears to be a mil­i­tary re­cruit­ment ad, a lengthy look at film­ing in the UK, and a funny mon­tage of Bay in ac­tion on set, and it’s a de­cent disc.

Shame all we re­ally wanted was an apol­ogy, and a prom­ise to never do it again.

Steve Buscemi joins John Good­man and John Tur­turro in the fran­chise, es­sen­tially mak­ing it a Big Le­bowski re­union.

Robot Wars got a huge bud­get in­crease.

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