MUM’S AGONY NEVER STOPS
Month for infant loss awareness
IT’S been 19 years since Nat and Remo Raccanello lost their daughter.
The couple have constructed a memorial garden garden to remember Emily, Emily, but theh tragedy off their loss is still the h hardest ordeal they’ve been forced to endure.
“It was the worst time of our lives, there’s no doubt about that,” Nat said. “Just that empty feeling.”
October marks Pregnancy and Infant Loss Awareness Month and Mrs Raccanello said seeking solace in support was the best thing you could do.
CHRISTMAS is intended to be the most joyous time of the year but for Nat Raccanello and her family, it’s a painful reminder of a daughter they lost.
During her first pregnancy, Nat and husband Remo walked into the hospital anticipating they’d leave with a beautiful baby daughter.
They left shattered as Emily was stillborn.
October is Pregnancy and Infant Loss Awareness Month and Ms Raccanello has opened up about that day and the ensuing heartache.
“It was the worst time of our lives, there’s no doubt about that,” she said.
“Just that empty feeling. You go into the hospital expecting to have your first baby and to walk out with nothing – it was the hardest thing we’ve ever done.
“So it’s 19 years this coming Christmas since Emily passed away.
“I was full term.
“It was a bit of a shock – not something you ever think would happen to you.”
The Raccanellos have had two healthy children since – Sophie and Adam – but the pain still lingers.
“I found support at the time through other mums who’d come to me who’d also lost babies,” she said.
“I think other people don’t know what to say to you either because it’s like a taboo subject.
“The months after Emily died, people would see me and they’d cross the road because they just don’t know what to say, which I understand.
“I don’t think losing a child will ever go away. It’s always with you.
“I got pregnant with Sophie about eight months after losing Emily – it was a very, very stressful time.”
The family created beauty out of tragedy – Ms Raccanello’s father created a garden in Emily’s honour.
“We had her 18th birthday
You think how horrible it’d be but the reality is 10,000 times worse.
— Nat Raccanello
celebration out there last year,” she said.
The only solace she found after losing Emily was through talking to mothers who suffered similar fates.
“I had two ladies who contacted me who’d lost babies at full term so that was probably the best support I had,” Ms Raccanello said.
“They came to me and helped me.
“Over the years there’s been more babies in Stanthorpe that have been lost so I’ve tried to give back
and contacted the mums and hopefully I’ve helped them.
“You just don’t realise.
You think how horrible it’d be – but the reality is 10,000 times worse.”
More recently, the Compassionate Friends Support Group has been a godsend for her.
“I guess we’re lucky in Stanthorpe with it being
such a small community that everyone knows everyone and it’s a very supportive community,” she said.
“To speak to someone who knows what you’re feeling or what you’ve been through is really important.
“It’s pretty casual sort of meetings – we just go for a meal at the Central or something like that.”
The group isn’t just for mums, it’s open to anybody who has suffered the loss of a loved one.
SHARING: Nat Raccanello says assisting others has helped put a smile back on her face.