A WOMAN is having a heart attack, and has a vision of God. “Will I die?” she asks him. “No,” God replies. “You will live for another 40 years, two months and 12 days.”
So after she has recovered from her heart attack, she decides to make the most of her life. She gets a facelift, liposuction and a tummy tuck. She even gets a surgery to permanently change the colour of her hair.
After her final surgery, she walks out and gets hit by a car and dies. Once in heaven, she meets God, and she’s ropeable. “What the hell was that?” she demands. “What do you mean?” God responds. “You died.” “You said I would live another 40 years!” “Oh,” God says, and thinks silently for a bit. “Sorry, I didn’t recognise you.” May Koaver, email