Street Machine - - Lol -

I WEAR a stetho­scope so that in a med­i­cal emer­gency I can teach peo­ple a valu­able les­son about as­sump­tions.

I RE­ALLY want to buy one of those su­per­mar­ket check­out di­viders, but the lady be­hind the till keeps putting it back.

SHOUT out to my grandma – that’s the only way she can hear.

MY DOG used to chase peo­ple on a bike a lot. It got so bad, I even­tu­ally had to take his bike off him.

I SAW an ad in a shop win­dow that said: ‘Tele­vi­sion for Sale – $1. Vol­ume Stuck On Full’. I thought: “I can’t turn that down.”

YOU can’t run through a camp­site. You can only ran, be­cause it’s past tents.

TWO gold­fish are in a tank. One says to the other: “Do you know how to drive this thing?”

I DE­CIDED to sell my vac­uum cleaner. It was just col­lect­ing dust. WHITEBOARDS are re­mark­able. I RE­MEM­BER the first time I saw a uni­ver­sal re­mote con­troller. I thought to my­self: “Now, this changes ev­ery­thing.”

I DREAMT about drown­ing in an ocean of orange soft drink last night. It took me a while to work out it was just a Fanta sea.

Dadge Oaks, email

Newspapers in English

Newspapers from Australia

© PressReader. All rights reserved.