Enjoy another morning walk in our region ..............................

Parental separation can turn a child’s life upside down. Generally, separated parents have good intentions to shield their children from conflict. Sometimes however, children can feel as though they are the rope in a tug of war battle.

Conflict between parents can be as obvious as physical altercations, yelling or name-calling.

More subtle conflict can be overhearing nasty comments about the other parent, seeing Mum roll her eyes when Dad calls or Dad suggesting his household is better than Mum’s household.

As a coping mechanism, some children lie about what happens in the other household to prevent conflict or to not upset a parent.

For example, if Dad has a new partner, a child may describe the new partner to Mum as mean and nasty, when in fact she is not, just so Mum won’t be upset.

Some children feel they have to say negative things about the other parent to receive affection.

Over time, these children can become so desperate for acceptance they will say and do anything to appease people in their life – to the extent they begin to engage in dangerous activities.

Where parents cannot communicate at all, children can feel it is their responsibility to organise time arrangements.

This may be appropriate for children who are older teenagers; young children should just be left to be children and not be burdened. Healthy disagreements where conflict is resolved without violence or name-calling can teach children how to appropriately resolve conflict.

Exposure to frequent high conflict between parents can have an enormous negative impact upon a child’s mental health and can impact relationships they have with other people when they grow older.

Unresolved high conflict can teach children that the only way to resolve conflict is to name call and shove the other person.

It is crucial after a separation to let children be children, and not involve them in parental conflict.

Specialist advice can be obtained for families who cannot resolve high conflict, including therapy and legal assistance, to create a brighter future.