LET ME LEND YOU MY EAR

You know the saying ‘treat people as you’d like to be treated,’... time to forget it!

This edition of Style is all about events, people and making connections – viva la fiesta! Or that networking event (come on, they’re not that bad! Sometimes there are mini quiches!).

The one major mistake we make as social beings is thinking all people are wired the same as us and operate with our same value system.

Take me for example, 90 per cent extrovert. I could be in a room of people for eight hours straight and still have something to say.

I think it shows respect to look someone in the eyes and be direct. That’s how I like to deal with people.

My dear introvert pals, however, might prefer to ease into a conversation, stand side by side rather than directly facing the person, and perhaps not speak directly about things.

So how do you make that connection when you’re wired opposite?

It’s easy. The art of conversation has two parts… talking AND listening.

Everybody has a story. Your job as a listener is… shock horror ... to listen.

Even if you’re a flamboyant, annoying, loud extrovert like me, you can listen.

Some of the professional connections and lifelong friendships I’ve made have been thanks to a little two-way convo.

And I don’t mean nodding and absent-mindedly thinking about what you’ll make for dinner. I mean actually thinking about what they are saying.

You’d be surprised how rarely someone actually engages in active listening, and you’d be surprised how much people open up to you when you do.

A rich conversation brings the content to life, because you’re both engaged.

And if you find yourself trapped by a person droning on and on, who themselves is a terrible listener, just politely take your leave and sidle off towards the food platters.

Conversation, my dear, is a two-way street!