Sunday Herald Sun - Body and Soul - - SEX AND DATING -

There is a sex­ual is­sue that af­fects nearly one in three men at some point in their lives. It’s far more com­mon than most peo­ple re­alise and can some­times be made fun of, pri­mar­ily be­cause it makes men (and women too) quite un­com­fort­able. De­spite be­ing treat­able, in­di­vid­u­als and cou­ples deal­ing with this prob­lem can go months or years deny­ing or try­ing to ig­nore the is­sue, to the detri­ment of their re­la­tion­ships as well as their self­con­fi­dence and self-es­teem.

Rapid, or pre­ma­ture, ejac­u­la­tion doesn’t have a black and white set def­i­ni­tion, as sex­ual re­sponses are unique and change over time, how­ever it can gen­er­ally be de­fined as when ejac­u­la­tion al­ways or nearly al­ways oc­curs prior to, or within one minute of be­gin­ning in­ter­course, or the per­son ex­pe­ri­ences an in­abil­ity to de­lay cli­max dur­ing in­ter­course ev­ery, or just about ev­ery time.

If you or some­one you love has this prob­lem, things can seem bleak. How­ever, in a way, you’re lucky be­cause it is con­sid­ered one of the most straight­for­ward and treat­able sex­ual dys­func­tions. Some sex ther­a­pists boast a 98 per cent client suc­cess rate. The key is to re­con­di­tion the sex­ual re­sponse so that stim­u­la­tion doesn’t speed up the de­sire to or­gasm, but rather main­tains a slow, steady pace for arousal.

A se­ries of ex­er­cises, called ei­ther the “stop­start” or “squeeze-tease” method, de­signed by famed sex ther­a­pist cou­ple Masters and John­son, can help change this sex­ual re­sponse. There are de­tailed de­scrip­tions of these ex­er­cises in my book and many other spe­cial­ist sex books, or you can visit a sex ther­a­pist, who can ex­plain the treat­ment strate­gies and guide you and your part­ner through ad­dress­ing the trig­gers that may be caus­ing the rapid sex­ual re­sponse.

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