Is as surprised as anyone that she’s officially an inventor.
It is undeniable some people are simply more inventive than others. They seem to be on an eternal quest for improvement and invention.
Often n it it’s s the small things, like the dude who ho invented the Post-it note. Or the first person who ever dunked a Tim Tam am in a cup of coffee and used it like a melty, delicious chocolate te straw. I mean, these innovations, nnovations, while simple, are hard to top.
Sadly, y, I am not naturallyly gifted in this area, but ut it doesn’t mean I don’t try. In fact, I’m mildly obsessedd with trying to invent nt something. Successful ful invention is a numbersers game. You need to try to “create the new” in n every facet of your life and, , eventually, you’re gonna hit paydirt. Like the other night, ight, when I was trying too make a cocktail with the e dregs of what was left in the he liquor cabinet.
It was as slim pickings, but I mixed ixed and measured, ed, and came up with the e most delicious drink. Thrilled, I presented nted a glass of my neww concoction to my husband.usband.
“I call it a Burmese Kitten,” I said, watching as he took a cautious sip. He swallowed. Frowned slightly. Then said: “This is a Kahlúa and Coke.” What a grinch. It was, in fact, a Kahlúa and HALF-COKE. With lem lemon. Clearly, too nuanced for his pa palate. Anyway, I am nothing if n not persistent. And since the invention of the smartphone smartphone, I’ve been racking my brain to think of a new app. Thi This is a tricky pursuit, becau because there are already more th than 10 MILLION of them. ThereTh are maps and games andan “Where’s the nearest servo?” and “Can I turntur my phone into a mirr mirror to do my make-up?” The latter two were,wer incidentally, ideas of mine; ideas so great th they’d already been thought of by someone else. Which co could be dispiriting. Because sometimes it seems all thet good things have alreadyalread been invented and the onlyo new ideas are bad ones, like ISIS or “new and improved”impro Barbecue Shapes. But if you think that,tha you’d be wrong. Becau Because in January this year, I had to make a call to some someone I didn’t want to speak to.
I was dreading it, so as I dialled I muttered that desperate mini-prayer: “Please let it go straight to voicemail.”
Praise be, it did. And I was so thrilled – so happy and relieved – I thought to myself: “There should be an app for that.”
When I went into work, I mentioned the idea to our producer Sacha, and she loved it and clapped her hands with glee, but my funny friend Doubting Hughesy said: “Surely someone has already invented that?” which seemed entirely
“As I dialled, I offered that desperate miniprayer: ‘Please let it go straight to voicemail’”
likely, so we called some app designers. They researched it and then uttered the incredible phrase: “This doesn’t exist in Australia.” And went off and built it.
So now, I am an actual inventor; the creator of an app called Dubcall. It’s in the App Store and everything. I don’t think it’s going to change the world – only for other chicken-hearts like me who need to call in sick, or want to break up with their Tinder date, or can’t face speaking to their landlord, or ex.
So I’m throwing a party to celebrate. The Burmese Kittens are on me, folks! I’ve left the details on your voicemail.
Kate co-hosts Hughesy & Kate, 4–6pm, weekdays, on the KIIS FM network.