MATT PRE­STON

Gourmet is main­stream and ev­ery­one who’s ever or­dered no pickles on their burger now thinks they are a foodie. So let’s sort the wannabes from the true food ob­ses­sives

Sunday Herald Sun - Stellar - - Contents -

Are you a foodie? Take the quiz.

YOU can al­ways spot the food nerd but the ques­tion is, are you one? I have de­vised this sim­ple quiz to as­cer­tain your level of food nerdery. Score one point for each state­ment that ap­plies to you.

1) When look­ing for pho­tos of your chil­dren/cat/dog/camper trailer on your phone to show your work­mates you end up flip­ping through end­less pic­tures of things you’ve cooked or eaten first. 2) You are not em­bar­rassed by this. 3) You read cook­books in bed. 4) You have enough cook­books to build a size­able fort but you only ac­tu­ally cook from 10 of them. The rest sit re­as­sur­ingly un­both­ered on the shelves tak­ing up space just in case you need in­spi­ra­tion. 5) You know that “worm­wood and fer­ret” isn’t a flavour of Zumbo mac­arons but “wasabi and gin­ger” and “choc may­on­naise” are. 6) When trav­el­ling you spend more time re­search­ing what and where to eat than what to see, do, or where to stay. 7) You no longer send post­cards but post pho­tos of your meals in­stead. 8) You find your­self dis­cussing where to eat next while sit­ting in a restau­rant you’ve waited six months to get into. 9) Some have spice racks, you have a spice drawer… or draw­ers. 10) You have more than one type of salt. 11) Score dou­ble points if you have any of the fol­low­ing: Kala­hari bush salt, Korean roasted salt, Hi­malayan pink salt, black salt, Hawai­ian red clay salt. 12) You’ve learnt from ex­pe­ri­ence that the only Tim Tams worth buy­ing are the orig­i­nal and the dou­ble choc. 13) You know who He­ston, Nigella, Manu, Marco, Jamie, Ge­orge and Gary are. 14) You know sil­i­con is for spat­u­las, bak­ing moulds and oven gloves. 15) One day you will throw out all those old food mag­a­zines but you never know when you’ll need an au­then­tic 1987 recipe for At­lantic salmon with a cream and limon­cello sauce. 16) You know that only one of these is a Masterchef win­ner: En­ver Hoxha, Kim Jong Il, Bil­lie Mckay, Ken­dall Jen­ner, Zoltan the Im­paler. (Be care­ful! Re­mem­ber there are Masterchef com­pe­ti­tions in over 50 coun­tries but “world dom­i­na­tion” is usu­ally ex­cluded as a foodie dream. So this counts out Ken­dall.) 17) When watch­ing Rake, you fan­ta­sise about meet­ing Richard Roxburgh – but only so you can per­suade him to ask his wife, Sil­via Colloca, for her fo­cac­cia recipe. 18) When you hear the name Matt you think of Mo­ran rather than Le Nevez. 19) Score one point for each of the fol­low­ing that you have in your kitchen: pasta maker / spi­ral­izer / stand mixer / stick blender / food pro­ces­sor / $2000+ smoothie maker / ice cream maker / juicer / cold press juicer / Manu / “healthy blender” you bought off late night TV while feel­ing guilty about eat­ing that whole block of choco­late / jaf­fle maker / sand­wich press / Gary / pie maker that has to live in the shed (with that old bread­maker you “can’t bear to throw away”) be­cause you’ve got no more space in your kitchen cup­boards. 20) Add an ex­tra point for any of these that you own but haven’t used in the last year. (And if you said yes to “Gary” please give him back as we need him for the next se­ries of Masterchef.)

HOW YOU SCORED

Un­der 5pts: En­joy your Happy Meal. 6-14pts: Great start but ex­pect true fully fledged food nerds to look down on you and give you pa­tro­n­is­ing foodie presents like a wooden spoon (with in­struc­tions) or a cake mix. 15-24pts: Wel­come to the ranks of true food nerdery. Can we in­ter­est you in a sub­scrip­tion to de­li­cious. mag­a­zine? 25-30pts: Sorry, this quiz was not in­tended for Masterchef judges like you. Over 30pts: You’re ei­ther a liar or me.

MATT PRE­STON

Newspapers in English

Newspapers from Australia

© PressReader. All rights reserved.