has given the all-clear for his seven-year-old to swear.

Sunday Herald Sun - Stellar - - Contents -

Well, it prob­a­bly sur­prises no one read­ing this to know that I am a swearer. I en­joy the he emo­tional re­lease. I like the naugh­ti­ness. ghti­ness. I rel­ish the words as s I pair them with the rightt phrase. I use them reck­less­lyly at times. More of­ten than nott in the wrong com­pany.

You see,ee, swear­ing when I was a child was not re­ally al­lowed.lowed. When I was a teenager, er, the rules were re­laxed some­what and… it… was…… thrilling. I was a grown up. Even be­fore I had a girl­friend and, you know, “did did it”, to talk with dirty word­sords seemed like shak­ing off the shack­les of child­hood od once and for all.

Words s are pow­er­ful. I be­lieve Michael Hutchen­cence said they were “weapons… eapons… sharper than knives”.

So when hen I swore on­stage at a func­tion for a friend’s nd’s birth­day, in con­text, xt, in front of my seven-year­ven-yearold, I hadd been ex­posed.. Busted.

I mean, an, it was just the “S” word. Noth­ing oth­ing se­ri­ous. None of the truly of­fen­sive ones. Could I have said poo? Sure. How­ever, say­ing to some­body, “Wow, what a per­for­mance, you are the ab­so­lute poo, poo,” does doesn’t have the same im­pact. Let me tell you, Leo wou would not let me for­get it. He told his mother straight away, eve even though I treated him to Ma Mac­cas fries to dis­tract him. I even en­cour­aged the fid­get­fidg spin­ner at the din din­ner table but, nooooo nooooooooo, we had to dis­cus dis­cuss Dad’s propen­sit propen­sity to im­per­son­ate Gor­don Ram­say.Ramsa So, we talked with Leo about the is is­sue and we laughed a lot. He was ask­ing us about words he had hea heard at school and whowh said what to whom.wh And then, witho without warn­ing, with mym seven-year-old, I went rogue. I told him I am fine with him swear­ing with hishi mates. I mean, h he is go­ing to ex­perim ex­per­i­ment with swear wor words any­way, right? W We all did. We never told­tol our par­ents, but we so did.di

So, here is what I told him were my rules (which I may or may not have made up on the spot).

1. Swear with your friends. I in­sist you try it. It’s fun, so get it out of your sys­tem.

2. You must never swear at any­one in a cruel way.

3. No swear­ing at or around any­one who is younger than you.

4. If you get caught by the teach­ers, then you are on your own (I don’t re­ally mean this, but you know… I had to make the sit­u­a­tion a lit­tle scary).

I wanted to show my el­dest that I trusted him. Naughty words could be used en­tirely at his dis­cre­tion. Leo was in charge of his destiny from this mo­ment on.

So far, so good. I have had no calls from the school… yet. I have not had to apol­o­gise to other par­ents… yet. More im­por­tantly, the ex­cite­ment and dan­ger Leo was feel­ing about swear­ing has com­pletely dis­ap­peared.

So it was a win. A big eff­ing win.

David co-hosts To­day Ex­tra, 9am week­days, on the Nine Net­work.

“If you get caught by the teach­ers, then you are on your own”

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