believes you’re not a real celebrity until you’re in a feud.
The whole world breathed a sigh of relief recently when, after years of uncertainty, volatility, hatred and despair, the hope for a lasting peace was finally within sight.
Yes, , Katy Perry has announced that she’she’s prepared to end her feud with Taylor Swift.
The hostilities had begun with an argument ument over back-up dancers rs – which is, incidentally, the same me reason my first wife left me e – but it now appears that Kay-pay ay-pay is ready to both forgivee and apologise to Tay-tay y for whatever it is she hass or hasn’t done.
Because ause that is the beauty of the feud – it doesn’t matter r what it’s about, all that matters is it’s on.
Therere is an old rule in politics s that if you haven’t heard a rumour by 9am, start one ne yourself. And the same goes for showbiz: if you’re not in a feud with somebody, ody, you had better get in one. . Nobody remembers the story about how everyone was really good friends that time.
In Australia, the feudal system depends ds on where you are from.
In Sydney you can be guaranteed nteed you are always s feuding with at least six ix people, you’re just never entirely sure who they are until one of them buys your company. In Melbourne only two people may feud at a time and it’s usually settled by a dawn face-off in which one p party hands the other a slightly over-ro over-roasted latte. In Brisbane feuds tendten to originate over whose turntu it is to buy a round and the matterm is usually settled by a cold schooner or a punch in the face. And in Canberra everybody is feuding with ever everybody all of the time, it’s jus just that nobody else gives a @#$%. Yet both here a and abroad there are countles countless celebrity feuds that have b been kept quiet over the decades.dec And now, in yet anotheran extraordinary EXCLU EXCLUSIVE, I can reveal them for the firs first time…
Humphrey B Bear vs Fat Cat. This titanic feud betweenbetwe two giants of children’s TV beganb when Humphrey stole Fat Cat’sCat shirt and Fat Cat stole Humphrey Humphrey’s pants. As history has proven, nei neither item was ever returned. Mel B vs Mel C. The tw two former Spice Girls were once th the very best of friends until a managermana told them that all future cr credits would be in alphabetic alphabetical order. Phil Collins vs Elton John. According to legend, PhilPhi told Elton there was only room in England’s heart for one bald rock star. Elton replied that he didn’t know what Phil was talking about. Everyone on morning television vs everyone on morning television. Tensions rose on the set of a breakfast TV show when two hosts disagreed with each other on a topic. Those tensions were further inflamed when both agreed to leak it to the Daily Mail. The Beatles vs The Rolling Stones. This unbecoming rivalry between two obscure alt-rock groups reached new lows in 2010 when an unnamed party tried to persuade Maroon 5 to release a song called ‘Moves Like Mccartney’. Martina Navratilova vs Margaret Court. In a highly publicised war of words, Navratilova objected to the naming of Margaret Court Arena, arguing that to do true justice to the sport of tennis it should be called Margaret Court Court. In order to settle the dispute, authorities were forced to change it to a purely entertainment venue called Tina Arena Arena.
Joe co-hosts Studio 10, 8.30am weekdays, on Network Ten.
It doesn’t matter what the fight is about. All that matters is it’s on”