ASK THE SEX­OL­O­GIST… “Should we try to be more ro­man­tic?”

Sunday Mail - Body and Soul - - B+S ADVICE -

ques­tion: My hus­band and I have two young chil­dren, but be­cause we don’t have fam­ily nearby and lit­tle spare cash, the two of us never go out. The end re­sult is that we have no ro­man­tic time. Is this nor­mal? an­swer: Couples must spend in­ti­mate time to­gether, be­cause it is the foun­da­tion of their re­la­tion­ship. It’s from this foun­da­tion that a cou­ple builds a fam­ily and shares a life.

Ac­cord­ing to re­search, a whop­ping 71 per cent of Aus­tralians don’t go on a reg­u­lar date night. It’s not sur­pris­ing, though, due to our busy lives. But even though the ma­jor­ity of couples don’t do date nights, the ma­jor­ity of them need that time to rekin­dle.

Date nights do not have to be ex­trav­a­gantly ro­man­tic, or even in­volve go­ing out. The most im­por­tant in­gre­di­ents are that you spend time to­gether and fo­cus on each other.

It’s good to have fun to re­con­nect and en­joy your­selves as a cou­ple and that can be at din­ner and a movie, or it can be cook­ing to­gether at home, af­ter the kids have gone to bed, and watch­ing a DVD.

You may not be in a po­si­tion to go out, but you could start a hobby at home that you can share to­gether. Or make ev­ery ef­fort to have a ro­man­tic evening at least once a month.

A weekly or fort­nightly date night might feel like a bit much if you haven’t been mak­ing room for it at all in your lives, so start slow. You’ll find even just part-time pri­ori­tis­ing each other will spark more thought and an­tic­i­pa­tion about date nights and ro­man­tic ren­dezvous and that mo­men­tum will grow.

So, yes, you are nor­mal, but since nor­mal couples aren’t dat­ing and ro­manc­ing each other enough, aim a lit­tle higher and your re­sults will be a lit­tle hot­ter than the luke­warm av­er­age. + Got a ques­tion for Dr Gabrielle Mor­ris­sey? Send your query to bodyand­soul.­our­ex­perts

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