When someone asks how you are, you forget it’s a form of greeting and think it’s an invitation to tell them about your bad back. You sleep less and pee more. People in authority look absurdly young.
Skin starts to pucker like an elephant’s butt around your armpits and neck.
Your husband’s eyebrows start growing out horizontally from his face.
And when he talks to you, he’s either peering over the top of ugly spectacles (because he’s broken his nice ones and too stingy to invest in another pair) or he’s got them propped up on the top of his head like grandma used to do.
You begin to wonder whether spectacle chains are really that bad.