B- grade . . . and proud of it

Sunday Tasmanian - Tassie Living - - Movies - LEIGH PAATSCH fi­naldes­ti­na­tion5­movie. com. au Now show­ing Vil­lage Cin­e­mas

FOR all its new-fan­gled fix­tures and trim­mings, the Fi­nal Des­ti­na­tion fran­chise still sticks like glue to that old hor­ror movie maxim ‘‘ if in doubt, gross ’ em out’’.

If you missed the first four in­stal­ments – which have ranged in qual­ity from so-so to so-umm-what-else-you-got? – you can be re­as­sured you will not be sud­denly step­ping on to a mine­field of mas­ter­ful sto­ry­telling.

The orig­i­nal blood-spat­tered blue­print is as it ever was.

The pro­duc­ers round up a young cast of un­knowns, pays ’ em peanuts, kills ’ em a cou­ple of times ( you’re not a real FD player un­less you’re first mas­sa­cred in a dream se­quence be­fore you re­ally get what’s coming to you) and boots ’ em right back to ob­scu­rity.

Who gets killed? Not important. How they’re killed? All important.

The Fi­nal Des­ti­na­tion films are fa­mous for the ridicu­lously elab­o­rate lengths screen­writ­ers will take to slaugh­ter each and ev­ery char­ac­ter. As sick and sorry as some of the out­comes prove to be in FD5, there can be no deny­ing there is of­ten some wild imag­i­na­tion and gen­uine in­spi­ra­tion in play.

Two se­quences in par­tic­u­lar are re­mark­ably strong by the mid­dling stan­dards of mod­ern B-movie hor­ror. The first is an im­pec­ca­bly de­signed de­mo­li­tion of a mas­sive sus­pen­sion bridge, filled from end to end with ve­hi­cles packed full of pas­sen­gers.

The sec­ond is much smaller in scale, but just as hor­ri­fy­ing. I won’t spoil it for you, but I will de­clare no one who makes it through this bit will ever look at Olympic gym­nas­tics the same way again.

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