Sharp as a potato
ALL for one, one for . . . crying out loud, is the movie business so strapped for ideas that a 23rd feature adaptation of The Three Musketeers gets a green light?
Look, I know we’ve already had cinematic cover versions of The Thing and Footloose plus another Paranormal Activity sequel come at us this month. But at least this trio puts some lovely spin on proven concepts that had not been done to death. Unlike the all-new, same-old Three Musketeers.
The setting is 17th century France. The fabled trio of Athos (Matthew Macfadyen, more a lover than a fighter), Porthos ( Ray Stevenson, more a fighter than a lover) and Aramis ( Luke Evans, more of anyone’s guess) are on the outer with the royal court.
After taking teen hothead D’artagnan ( Logan Lerman) into the fold, Team Musketeer slowly sneaks back into the good books of the dopey fashion-victim king ( Freddie Fox) by agreeing to foil a coup planned by British fop, the Duke of Buckingham ( Orlando Bloom, pictured).
Playing both sides of the cross-channel conflict is the babe-licious Milady ( Milla Jovovich), a double agent who has nicked off with plans for a radical military airship designed by Leonardo da Vinci.
There is miniscule fresh produce thrown on the table here – aside from some ho-hum 3D effects, some bonkers business involving zeppelins with weapons, and some rare glimpses of Jovovich almost acting.
Though all the right names, places and times are present and correct, according to the ancient blueprint dictated by author Alexandre Dumas, the simple swashbuckling vibe of the original tale is rarely captured.
The problem is a running series of modifications, meant to bring the funny and the cool, merely bring on a headache.
Now showing Village Cinemas