Hard to swallow
IF Jaws 3 taught us anything – now there’s six words I bet you thought you’d never see at the start of a review – it is this: 3D sharkattack movies are in no way superior to their 2D counterparts.
There is just no worthwhile use that extra D can be put to. Whenever a shark is blending a human being into a blood- and- bone smoothie, all that can be seen is splashing red water and gnashing white teeth.
It’s a simple fact of nature and it gets old very quickly on the big screen.
And so we have Shark Night 3D, here with us only because last year’s surprise hit Piranha proved there are still big bucks in babes and boozehounds getting shredded by killer fish.
The first thing you see in Shark Night 3D is a bouncy bottom inside a bikini.
The first proper line of dialogue is ‘‘ please don’t take my top off!’’
And the first buffet dish of blonde bimbo is consumed swiftly thereafter. The last thing you’ll be left wondering? Why are all of these shark attacks occurring in a lake?