Hard to swal­low

Sunday Tasmanian - Tassie Living - - Movies - LEIGH PAATSCH Now show­ing Vil­lage Cine­mas

IF Jaws 3 taught us any­thing – now there’s six words I bet you thought you’d never see at the start of a re­view – it is this: 3D sharkat­tack movies are in no way su­pe­rior to their 2D coun­ter­parts.

There is just no worth­while use that ex­tra D can be put to. When­ever a shark is blend­ing a hu­man be­ing into a blood- and- bone smoothie, all that can be seen is splash­ing red water and gnash­ing white teeth.

It’s a sim­ple fact of na­ture and it gets old very quickly on the big screen.

And so we have Shark Night 3D, here with us only be­cause last year’s sur­prise hit Pi­ranha proved there are still big bucks in babes and booze­hounds get­ting shred­ded by killer fish.

The first thing you see in Shark Night 3D is a bouncy bot­tom in­side a bikini.

The first proper line of di­a­logue is ‘‘ please don’t take my top off!’’

And the first buf­fet dish of blonde bimbo is con­sumed swiftly there­after. The last thing you’ll be left won­der­ing? Why are all of these shark at­tacks oc­cur­ring in a lake?

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