Just killin’ time
REVIEW KILLER ELITE ( MA15+) ★★■
Director: Gary Mckendry ( feature debut) Stars: Jason Statham, Clive Owen, Robert De Niro, Dominic Purcell
An open and shut Jase QUICK quiz time! You ready? OK. You’re a dead- set action fan. The world is about to end today. You have one last chance to watch something where a good- bad dude must do ( sigh) one last job.
Sorry, but this means you must choose between the new Mark Wahlberg ( Contraband ) and the new Jason Statham.
That’s two no- brainer movies. One nobrainer decision. Sorry, Jase, we’re gonna go stand in line for Contraband.
In Killer Elite, Jase ( pictured) is doing those three things only he can do so well: being bald, bitter about something, and bashing up any cast member whose name isn’t on the poster in the foyer.
Jase also gets to stand near Robert De Niro in a few scenes, which must have been quite a thrill. Not sure old Bob knows he’s there. Or that cameras are rolling. But Jase does. And that’s all that matters.
The movie itself – filmed right here in Australia, for reasons we may never know – is supposedly based on a true story. Don’t fall for that one. It’s hard enough falling for the weak premise.
It’s 1980. A rich and angry Omani sheikh who kind of looks like Osama bin Laden wants revenge on select former members of the British SAS. They killed most of his sons or something.
If Jase wants to see his best mate and mentor ( De Niro) ever again, he’d better get on a plane and start assassinating all the blokes on not- Osama’s hit- list.
One of them turns out to be Clive Owen. Or someone who looks like Owen wearing a cheap joke- shop moustache. Nah, pretty sure it was Owen.
Dominic Purcell has to wear an even bigger fake ’ tache, but you’ll always know it’s him. Largely because he has to say out loud some of the worst, geezer- tastic dialogue in this poorly written picture. Random sample: ‘‘ I’m done wiv killin’.’’ ‘‘ Yeah? Well maybe killin’s not done wiv you!’’
The ever- clever Jase just shuts up and sleep- stomps his way from one bloody scene to the next. As Jase always does.
Now showing State Cinema