Just killin’ time

RE­VIEW KILLER ELITE ( MA15+) ★★■

Sunday Tasmanian - Tassie Living - - Eguide Movies - LEIGH PAATSCH

Di­rec­tor: Gary Mck­endry ( fea­ture de­but) Stars: Ja­son Statham, Clive Owen, Robert De Niro, Do­minic Pur­cell

An open and shut Jase QUICK quiz time! You ready? OK. You’re a dead- set ac­tion fan. The world is about to end to­day. You have one last chance to watch some­thing where a good- bad dude must do ( sigh) one last job.

Sorry, but this means you must choose be­tween the new Mark Wahlberg ( Con­tra­band ) and the new Ja­son Statham.

That’s two no- brainer movies. One no­brainer decision. Sorry, Jase, we’re gonna go stand in line for Con­tra­band.

In Killer Elite, Jase ( pic­tured) is do­ing those three things only he can do so well: be­ing bald, bit­ter about some­thing, and bash­ing up any cast mem­ber whose name isn’t on the poster in the foyer.

Jase also gets to stand near Robert De Niro in a few scenes, which must have been quite a thrill. Not sure old Bob knows he’s there. Or that cam­eras are rolling. But Jase does. And that’s all that mat­ters.

The movie it­self – filmed right here in Australia, for rea­sons we may never know – is sup­pos­edly based on a true story. Don’t fall for that one. It’s hard enough fall­ing for the weak premise.

It’s 1980. A rich and an­gry Omani sheikh who kind of looks like Osama bin Laden wants re­venge on se­lect for­mer mem­bers of the Bri­tish SAS. They killed most of his sons or some­thing.

If Jase wants to see his best mate and men­tor ( De Niro) ever again, he’d bet­ter get on a plane and start as­sas­si­nat­ing all the blokes on not- Osama’s hit- list.

One of them turns out to be Clive Owen. Or some­one who looks like Owen wear­ing a cheap joke- shop mous­tache. Nah, pretty sure it was Owen.

Do­minic Pur­cell has to wear an even big­ger fake ’ tache, but you’ll al­ways know it’s him. Largely be­cause he has to say out loud some of the worst, geezer- tas­tic di­a­logue in this poorly writ­ten picture. Ran­dom sam­ple: ‘‘ I’m done wiv killin’.’’ ‘‘ Yeah? Well maybe killin’s not done wiv you!’’

The ever- clever Jase just shuts up and sleep- stomps his way from one bloody scene to the next. As Jase al­ways does.

Now show­ing State Cinema

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