Gone for all money
THIS is an all- points bulletin for police officers of Portland, Oregon!
The young chick from Mamma Mia! – you know, the one with the shiny hair and the wide face? – she’s been kidnapped!
Only thing is, she got away from the kidnapper! But now her sister is missing! Presumed kidnapped!
Suspect is described as having ‘‘ rapey eyes’’! I repeat, suspect has ‘‘ rapey eyes’’!
Apologies for all the exclamation blasts, but this dull, psyched- out psychodrama of Gone can use all the excitement it can get.
Amanda Seyfried ( pictured) plays Jill, a nervy waitress who still hasn’t gotten over her recent abduction, or the fact the local cops didn’t really believe her wonky recollection of the ordeal.
But now her sibling has been swiped by the mysterious man with the pervy peepers, Jill has a reputation to restore.
Oh, and it might be nice if her sister was rescued as well.
Like being passed on a freeway by a monkey in a Maserati, viewers of sound mind will find Gone at once kookily compelling and inexplicably confounding.
As the case hots up, there are so many shifty perps under consideration – and yes, ‘‘ rapey eyes’’ is pretty much all the cops have to go on – you begin to wonder if the filmmakers have lost the piece of paper with the real kidnapper’s name on it.
As for poor Ms Seyfried, her acting is so wooden, it’s as if she’s auditioning for a movie called The Tree of Lifelessness.