Gone for all money

Sunday Tasmanian - Tassie Living - - Eguide Movies - LEIGH PAATSCH Now show­ing Vil­lage Cine­mas Glenorchy

THIS is an all- points bul­letin for po­lice of­fi­cers of Port­land, Ore­gon!

The young chick from Mamma Mia! – you know, the one with the shiny hair and the wide face? – she’s been kid­napped!

Only thing is, she got away from the kid­nap­per! But now her sis­ter is miss­ing! Pre­sumed kid­napped!

Sus­pect is de­scribed as hav­ing ‘‘ rapey eyes’’! I re­peat, sus­pect has ‘‘ rapey eyes’’!

Apolo­gies for all the ex­cla­ma­tion blasts, but this dull, psyched- out psy­chodrama of Gone can use all the ex­cite­ment it can get.

Amanda Seyfried ( pic­tured) plays Jill, a nervy wait­ress who still hasn’t got­ten over her re­cent ab­duc­tion, or the fact the lo­cal cops didn’t re­ally be­lieve her wonky rec­ol­lec­tion of the or­deal.

But now her sib­ling has been swiped by the mys­te­ri­ous man with the pervy peep­ers, Jill has a rep­u­ta­tion to re­store.

Oh, and it might be nice if her sis­ter was res­cued as well.

Like be­ing passed on a free­way by a mon­key in a Maserati, view­ers of sound mind will find Gone at once kook­ily com­pelling and in­ex­pli­ca­bly con­found­ing.

As the case hots up, there are so many shifty perps un­der con­sid­er­a­tion – and yes, ‘‘ rapey eyes’’ is pretty much all the cops have to go on – you be­gin to won­der if the film­mak­ers have lost the piece of pa­per with the real kid­nap­per’s name on it.

As for poor Ms Seyfried, her act­ing is so wooden, it’s as if she’s au­di­tion­ing for a movie called The Tree of Life­less­ness.

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