From here to maternity
WHAT to expect from What to Expect
When You’re Expecting when you expect it to be exactly what you’re expecting? ( Insert pregnant pause here.) Well, upon learning that What to Expect
When You’re Expecting is based on the bestselling so - you’re - about - to - have your - first- baby manual of the same name, I thought it prudent to write down all of my expectations of the picture:
1. Upbeat musical montage of all sets of parents- to- be experiencing first ultrasound check.
2. Mood- swinging pregnant women taking a swing at their hapless partners.
3. Downbeat musical montage of at least one set of parents- to- be experiencing medical problems.
4. Thin- looking pregnant women complaining about how fat they look.
5. Their hapless partners saying the wrong thing at exactly the right time.
6. Blatant product placement for every
brand in the baby- making business.
7. Lots of creepy latex plastic mummy-tummies ( the one special- effect Hollywood may never perfect).
8. Wacky musical montage of much huffing and puffing in the birthing centre.
Yes, What to Expect When You’re
Expecting delivered all of the above. And yet, a whole lot less. There is no solid plot for What to Expect
When You’re Expecting. There are, however, dotted - and- dashed plot lines that give all involved a little something to do.
Cameron Diaz plays a newly knocked- up TV fitness glam azon.
She is not cool with having to buy a larger sports bra.
Elizabeth Banks plays the newly knocked- up owner of a babywear shop. She is not cool with the transition from vendor to breeder.
Anna Kendrick plays a newly knockedup young food vendor. She is not cool with everything after a one- night stand with a guy she cannot stand.
Oh, and Jennifer Lopez is in there somewhere as well. She plays a baby photographer who is not with child per se, but she will soon be heading off to Africa to shop for one.
Viewers won’t recognise any of the trainee dads – aside from old Dennis Quaid, whose young trophy wife is about to present him with twins.
Chris Rock leads a ‘‘ geek chorus’’ of experienced fathers who offer scary buttrue advice to any nervous newbies nearby. Overall, What to Expect When You’re
Expecting is merely another one of those warm-’ n’- fuzzy clumps of sitcom fluff, in which a large ensemble of names can become entangled for no apparent reason.
Conceptually, it achieves the same effect as a slow- mo head- on collision between a shopping trolley and a pram. While no one gets hurt, there was really no need for it to happen.
EXPECT THE EXPECTED: Cameron Diaz and Matthew Morrison in What to Expect When You’re Expecting.