To­tal dud

Sunday Tasmanian - Tassie Living - - Movies - LEIGH PAATSCH

HOW is a re­make of the 1990 Arnold Sch­warzeneg­ger sci- fi hit To­tal Re­call like a fash­ion line de­signed by Kyle Sandi­lands?

Well, it’s hard to re­sist tak­ing a look. But no one’s ever gonna wear it.

If you’ve some­how never seen the orig­i­nal To­tal Re­call, go rent it now, and give this luke­warm re- heat­ing a miss.

I guar­an­tee you will have a grand time. Arnie meets a lady with three boobs, Arnie goes to Mars, and Arnie says 100- per- cent- proof Arnie things like ‘‘ con­sidda thadda dee vorze’’.

It is also a crack­ing ex­er­cise in craftily com­mer­cialised sci- fi, which can hap­pen when work­ing from the sem­i­nal scrib­blings of Philip K. Dick ( Blade Run­ner ). The all- new To­tal Re­call? Well, the tri- breasted woman is still there. The trip to Mars is not. And Colin Far­rell – as if you didn’t al­ready know – is no Arnold Sch­warzeneg­ger.

Though in no way hope­less, To­tal Re­call ver­sion 2.0 is rather ho- hum and hu­mour­less. The ba­sics of the plot are same- ish enough to jus­tify the use of that fa­mous ti­tle.

Far­rell ( pic­tured) is Quaid, a fac­tory worker who is hav­ing re­cur­ring night­mares that he is a spy in mor­tal dan­ger.

As it’s the year 2099, Quaid can look up a com­pany that im­plants nicer thoughts and mem­o­ries in the hu­man mind.

Un­for­tu­nately, the com­pany is run by the guy who played Harold in the Harold & Ku­mar movies ( John Cho), and the job is botched.

Quaid is never sure if he is a fac­tory worker or a spy. Or like­wise, if he should be shar­ing a bed with Kate Beck­in­sale or Jes­sica Biel.

All that can be rec­om­mended here are a few fleet­ing glimpses of a fun and funky fu­ture for con­sumer tech­nol­ogy. By the year 2099, cars fly, trains travel through the cen­tre of the Earth, and the much- mocked in­ter­net fridge fi­nally gains wide­spread ac­cep­tance.

Now show­ing Vil­lage Cine­mas

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