HOW is a remake of the 1990 Arnold Schwarzenegger sci- fi hit Total Recall like a fashion line designed by Kyle Sandilands?
Well, it’s hard to resist taking a look. But no one’s ever gonna wear it.
If you’ve somehow never seen the original Total Recall, go rent it now, and give this lukewarm re- heating a miss.
I guarantee you will have a grand time. Arnie meets a lady with three boobs, Arnie goes to Mars, and Arnie says 100- per- cent- proof Arnie things like ‘‘ considda thadda dee vorze’’.
It is also a cracking exercise in craftily commercialised sci- fi, which can happen when working from the seminal scribblings of Philip K. Dick ( Blade Runner ). The all- new Total Recall? Well, the tri- breasted woman is still there. The trip to Mars is not. And Colin Farrell – as if you didn’t already know – is no Arnold Schwarzenegger.
Though in no way hopeless, Total Recall version 2.0 is rather ho- hum and humourless. The basics of the plot are same- ish enough to justify the use of that famous title.
Farrell ( pictured) is Quaid, a factory worker who is having recurring nightmares that he is a spy in mortal danger.
As it’s the year 2099, Quaid can look up a company that implants nicer thoughts and memories in the human mind.
Unfortunately, the company is run by the guy who played Harold in the Harold & Kumar movies ( John Cho), and the job is botched.
Quaid is never sure if he is a factory worker or a spy. Or likewise, if he should be sharing a bed with Kate Beckinsale or Jessica Biel.
All that can be recommended here are a few fleeting glimpses of a fun and funky future for consumer technology. By the year 2099, cars fly, trains travel through the centre of the Earth, and the much- mocked internet fridge finally gains widespread acceptance.
Now showing Village Cinemas