Fifty Shades of grades

Sunday Tasmanian - Tassie Living - - WEEK IN MOVIES -

FIFTY SHADES OF GREY ( MA15+)

Direc­tor: Sam Tay­lor- John­son ( Nowhere Boy)

Star­ring : Jamie Dornan, Dakota John­son, Kate Mum­ford, Luke Grimes, Jen­nifer Ehle

Ver­dict: Spank you, and good night

WELL, we’ve all had time to live with ( or look the other way from) the bigscreen ar­rival of the Fifty Shades of

Grey phe­nom­e­non. Just as the book by E. L. James was a pile of per­fumed fer­tiliser, the movie gives off fumes that can ad­dle the judg­ment of the with- it and the with­out- a- clue alike.

As global ticket sales for the week cruised past $ 300 mil­lion, Fifty

Shades of Grey doesn’t need an­other re­view. But with fur­ther er­rat­i­cally erotic se­quels offi cially on the way, it sure could use a re­port card:

JAMIE DORNAN AS CHRIS­TIAN GREY C-

Dornan has shown else­where ( most no­tably in TV se­ries The Falls) he can act. How­ever, out of choice or ne­ces­sity, that par­tic­u­lar tool in his skill set is rarely used here. The ro­botic man­ner in which he re­cites iconic lines such as “I’m not the man for you. You should steer clear of me” bring on way too many ( non- sex­ual) groans.

DAKOTA JOHN­SON AS ANAS­TA­SIA STEELE A-

A real fi nd who is the real rea­son many have found the movie bet­ter than they ex­pected. Can be funny when she needs to be and is a ( rel­a­tively) be­liev­able hu­man be­ing at all times. Though John­son has to suff er the same sto­ry­telling in­dig­ni­ties as Dornan, she is never in­tim­i­dated by them.

THE SUP­PORT­ING CAST D-

The rest of the cast barely ex­ist for any rea­son, aside from briefly re­mind­ing us Chris­tian and Ana have fam­ily, friends and a cou­ple of other peo­ple who work ei­ther for or with them. The best of a blocked- out bunch are Jen­nifer Ehle ( as Ana’s mum) and Kate Mum­ford ( Ana’s room­mate).

AS SE­RI­OUS DRAMA E

Aw­ful. Gets it wrong by overly cel­e­brat­ing Chris­tian’s affl uence, ar­ro­gance and right to whack a woman when and where he wants.

AS UN­IN­TEN­TIONAL COM­EDY B-

The movie’s abil­ity to fi nd laughs in places where they should not be is a wel­come sav­ing grace.

PLOT D

The story’s ori­gins as Twi­light fan fi ction are ob­vi­ous. Just like the Twi­light movies, very lit­tle hap­pens un­less ab­so­lutely nec­es­sary. An hour’s worth of ma­te­rial is given two hours of screen time in which to stretch, yawn and take a good lie down. The back sto­ries of the lead­ing char­ac­ters are nowhere near as im­por­tant as their back­sides.

DIA­LOGUE F

The best that can be said about the fi lm’s dia­logue is prob­a­bly that it’s in English, and it’s au­di­ble. Here’s a key line: “My tastes are very sin­gu­lar. You wouldn’t un­der­stand.”

Now show­ing Vil­lage and State Cine­mas

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