Logic goes up in smoke

Sunday Tasmanian - Tassie Living - - NEWS - Leigh Paatsch

IN­FERNO (M)

+Di­rec­tor: Ron Howard (Rush) Star­ring: Tom Hanks, Fe­lic­ity Jones, Sidse Ba­bett Knud­sen, Ir­rfan Khan, Omar Sy, Ben Foster Ver­dict: Leaves a burn­ing sen­sa­tion in all the wrong places

Just over a month ago, Tom Hanks was Sully. Now he’s just silly.

But that has been par for the course ever since Hanks first stepped into the role of chip­per cryp­tol­o­gist Robert Lang­don a decade ago.

In pre­vi­ous screen ad­ven­tures ab­sent­mind­edly ripped from the pages of books by au­thor Dan Brown, Mr Lang­don has nobly iden­ti­fied pat­terns, com­pleted puz­zles and joined many das­tardly dots to save Chris­tian­ity from go­ing up in flames (The Da Vinci Code), and the Vat­i­can from go­ing down the gur­gler (An­gels & Demons).

If he can suc­cess­fully com­plete his lat­est as­sign­ment, Robert Lang­don is go­ing to save the world.

How­ever, this time around, Bob has been stripped of his leg­endary weapons of mass de­duc­tion. As In­ferno be­gins, he’s copped a nu­clear knock to the nog­gin that has left him with the same case of am­ne­sia that Jason Bourne was re­cently cured of.

So once Lang­don is back on his feet and run­ning for his life all over Italy (and later on, Turkey), he is al­ready way be­hind the eight-ball when it comes to stop­ping a a syn­thetic ver­sion of the Black Plague about to sweep the planet.

There­fore a brain-wiped Lang­don is go­ing to have to take the long­est and laugh­ably logic-free route imag­in­able to pre­vent the out­break.

The plague is sit­ting in­side a sealed plas­tic bag on the bot­tom of an in­door la­goon in down­town Is­tan­bul, and can only be ac­ti­vated by mo­bile phone from a few me­tres away.

As far as dooms­day de­vices go, this sce­nario proves about as ter­ri­fy­ing as watch­ing some­one about to defuse a black bowl­ing-ball bomb with an un­fea­si­bly long flick­er­ing wick.

Then there is the ropey role played here by the World Health Or­gan­i­sa­tion. Do they re­ally have a se­cret squad of gun-tot­ing com­man­dos op­er­at­ing out­side of in­ter­na­tional law? They do now.

And what about the shad­owy mob known as The Con­sor­tium, which is able to kill, in­ject or lobotomise any ci­ti­zen of the free world from their HQ on a boat in the mid­dle of the ocean? Don’t ask.

So it goes for the whole of In­ferno, the plot­ting of which is per­pet­u­ally dump­ing fresh loads of red her­rings and raw prawns upon the au­di­ence.

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