Google-eyed in sol­i­dar­ity

HER ES­THER WOODHAMS

Sunday Tasmanian - - News -

LAST week, Ho­bart was in­duced. Sub­jected to my co-host’s ridicu­lous Google searches on lac­tat­ing males and his push to raise aware­ness of men suf­fer­ing through ‘sym­pa­thetic’ preg­nan­cies. Any­thing ex­ists on the web. In­clud­ing uni­corns, a flat Earth and Rebel Wil­son’s age. Need­less to say, last week was a painful labour in it­self. I’ve asked around and my preg­nant friends have some ad­vice for you, Paul. If you re­ally want to know what hav­ing a baby is like, go to a hard­ware store grab some sand­pa­per and cut loose on your mam­mary glands. Also, to the caller whose hus­band lac­tated when she gave birth –I’m sorry he had to go through that. This, de­spite the fact her loins most likely strug­gled to pass some­thing the size of a wa­ter­melon, as well as the fridge the wa­ter­melon was kept in. In fact add to that list; the kitchen that housed the fridge. Paul, can you re­ally com­plain about a cou­ple of trips to Woolies for the woman who’s about to go through all of this and more? You say­ing your girl­friend be­ing sick makes you sick, in turn makes me sick. I’m won­der­ing if you’re the com­mon de­nom­i­na­tor here.

Crav­ing chips and gravy does not mean you are hav­ing a ‘sym­pa­thetic’ pregnancy.

Last week we learned that Ho­bart’s preg­nant women are suf­fer­ing from crav­ings so se­vere that they munch down on bowls of tooth­paste and eat dirt (which some natur­opaths ap­par­ently sell safely to sat­isfy this deep de­sire, but I’m sure Paul can Google it for you). One woman was even spot­ted get­ting down on all fours to lick the back step.

You can be sym­pa­thetic Paul, but you can­not be preg­nant. But if it takes weird Google searches for you to get on board and be the best, most sup­port­ive part­ner you can be, then lac­tate away.

Crav­ing chips and gravy does not mean you are hav­ing a ‘sym­pa­thetic’ pregnancy.

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