Truly, the sky won’t fall in

Sunday Tasmanian - - News - PAUL HO­GAN

THERE is no such thing as the “sanc­tity” of mar­riage.

I’m sorry Eric Abetz and Rene Hid­ding, but that ship set sail when Kim Kar­dashian clocked up wed­ding No.3.

Some­thing is not a pre­cious in­sti­tu­tion if Elizabeth Tay­lor can do it eight times.

Why should Kenny Rogers be al­lowed five goes, when in this coun­try El­ton John could not do it once?

My fam­ily has made di­vorce into a Ho­gan rite of pas­sage. I’ve had more aun­ties than Tony Ab­bott’s had tight togs.

And which cou­ple has stood the test of time longer than any other Ho­gan re­la­tion­ship? My cousin and his boyfriend.

It would be down­right non­sen­si­cal to sug­gest he de­serves less of a chance at mar­riage than my un­cle, who is on to his third wife. Or fourth count­ing that one an­nulled in Thai­land.

Re­li­gion is for­ever evolv­ing (which in of it­self is a tad ironic). Let’s not for­get that old Henry No.8 in­vented the Angli­can Church, just so he could ditch Catherine of Aragon and get jiggy with Anne Bo­leyn. Be­fore he lopped her head off.

You can’t go quot­ing the bit in the Bi­ble that says; “You shall not lie with a male as with a woman; such thing is an abom­i­na­tion”, un­less you’re pre­pared to put re­tail work­ers to death for work­ing on a Sun­day.

Civil­i­sa­tion as we know it won’t be de­stroyed by mar­riage equal­ity. I’ve checked it out. So can you.

All I did was jump on to Google Maps and guess what? Ger­many is still there. Turns out New Zealand is fine. So is the UK, Ire­land, Brazil, Canada, Den­mark, Fin­land, France, the Nether­lands, Spain, Swe­den . . . and the list goes on.

Ev­ery­thing is fine. There are no zom­bies and the chick you fancy doesn’t end up be­ing a cy­borg.

Just tick the “yes” box and stop con­cern­ing your­self with other peo­ple’s con­nu­bials.

My fam­ily has made di­vorce into a Ho­gan rite of pas­sage. I’ve had more aun­ties than Tony Ab­bott’s had tight togs.

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