TOBY CREGAN

HY­PO­THET­I­CAL – THE UN­LIKELY TRUTH RE­VEALED

Surfing World - - Introduction -

FILM­MAKER, ROCKER, 23, BY­RON BAY, NSW

SW: The Skegss Egyp­tian band man­ager comes into a band meet­ing and says Mi­ley Cyrus wants you guys to sup­port her next Aus­tralian Tour. Dis­cuss your re­sponse to him in five words or less. TC: Fuck yes. I love her.

Which num­ber is bet­ter 12 or 37? 37 be­cause that’s how old I hope to be one day. I’ve al­ready been 12 be­fore.

You’re the editor of SW, who’s on your first cover and what’s the cov­er­line? It’s a framey of Cyanide Sphinx and the tagline is Doped Youth 2 is Com­ing!

You wake up and you’re Kelly Slater. De­scribe the rest of your day… Go to the bank. Drain all the cash out of my ac­counts. Drop it all off at Toby Cregan’s house. Go surf the wave pool. Come in and post a video of my­self scoff­ing KFC and Mac­cas and heaps of junk food and shit on In­sta­gram. Get trashed with Pamela An­der­son. Go to bed.

You are given a magic phone that can call you when you are 10 years old. What do you say to your younger self? Don’t worry.

It’s the Nip­ple Crip­ple World Ti­tles and you and Creed Mc­tag­gart are in the fi­nal. Who wins? I’m at home on my own right now and I just pinched my­self on the nip­ple to see how much I could take. I still don’t know the an­swer to this one.

Nix Nic Noo­ley wins a belated Os­car for best pic­ture at the Academy Awards. Give us the open­ing line of your speech? Fuck the WSL.

You can see 20 years into the fu­ture. What is Toby Cregan up to? In 2036 I’ll be 45 on 45 acres of land with $45 and 45 kids.

Il­lus­tra­tion by Nanda Or­mond

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