LEGEND OF MATT AND FREE SHRED, 25, BYRON BAY, NSW
If Flash Gordon was a pro surfer would he actually be the son of legendary kneelo Dave Parkes? We say yes! He’ll save every one of us!
SW: You wake up inside the body of John John Florence. Describe your day? GP: Get a set at Pipe, skip the line at the food truck and then tune a babe on the beach... perhaps.
You get to re-surf the final of the 2012 Junior World Title in which you tied with Caio Ibelli but then lost in a re-surf. What do you do different this time? Probably skoll a beer before I paddle out to calm the nerves.
You get cast as the new Flash Gordon in a remake of the original Hollywood classic. Who supplies the soundtrack now that Freddy Mercury is dead? We’d have to go with Creedo and Elliss and Beau. We’ll go with some fast erratic music. We’ll go with Wash.
You can only ride one surf craft for the rest of your life. What’s it to be? My 9’1’’ big kahuna that Dad shaped me. Full log. Wattegoes to The Wreck. If you had to ride an air matt filled with farts for the rest of your life, whose farts would they be, and why? My buddy Gaz, the drummer from Parkway Drive because he’s edge. They’d be potent and probably make you go heaps fast. Good for the buoyancy too.
Flash Gordon calls and wants his hair back, do you oblige? I’d give it straight back. “Sorry for biting your steeze buddy.”
Which number is better 12 or 37? 37. More experience at life, or I dunno, 37 chicks? 37 pits?
You score a wildcard to the WSL event of your choosing? Have to say Pipe. I’d probably get knocked first heat but I’d be stoked to just make a heat. Just get one sick pit. Just one iconic Pipe pit. That would be bullshit.
You’re the new mayor of Byron Bay. What’s the first law you pass? You get fined for crossing the road. You’re not allowed to cross the road.
If you could be any fictitious character in history, would you be Flash Gordon? I’d be a Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtle. Just slipping around the sewers at night.
Illustration by Nanda Ormond