After 10 years of marriage and two sons, Steve, 41, didn’t want another baby
Iwant another baby,’ my wife Helena announced, sitting bolt upright in bed. We were on a weekend away celebrating our 10-year wedding anniversary.
Really? I thought, shocked. With our amazing sons, Seb, seven, and Nathan, four, I thought we’d completed our family.
‘This isn’t a passing thought,’ she explained. ‘I’m 39, this might be my last chance.’
Helena was due to go on holiday with a few friends, but once she got back she wanted us to give it a go.
‘Let’s try until I’m 40,’ she added. ‘And if nothing happens, you can get the snip!’
Meeting in our late 20s, we’d both been keen to have kids.
‘I want two boys and a girl!’ Helena would say whenever the subject was brought up.
‘I only want one, a boy,’ I’d tease.
So in the end, we’d settled on two. Or so I thought.
Now, we had our hands full with our lively and lovable sons.
With school runs, activities and meal times, there wasn’t much chance of a breather.
Every so often, Helena had dropped hints about having one more bub. But I didn’t think she was all that serious. Plus, I really wasn’t sure.
I don’t like the idea of having a newborn with sleepless nights and nappies again! I thought.
After Helena’s bombshell, I promised her I’d think about it.
Getting home after our romantic weekend for two, we didn’t talk about it again until Helena left for her 10-day trip a few weeks later.
Helena’s mum, Clare, was coming to stay that night to help me out for the first five days while I had work, but after that it was just me and the boys.
‘Video call me every day!’ Helena said. ‘I’ll miss you all.’
Giving me a final hug, she whispered in my ear.
‘When I get back, can we start trying?’ she asked.
‘Okay,’ I said, kissing her goodbye. ‘Until you’re 40.’
But the truth was, I didn’t think another baby was right for us.
Life was busy enough, and I wanted to enjoy watching the kids we already had grow up.
Another baby would be more expense too.
The next morning, I left the house early.
‘I’m going to head to the gym before work,’ I said to Clare. ‘See you tonight for dinner.’
By 8.30am, I was sitting in a clinic.
‘You’ll be a bit sore for a few days and should abstain from sex for a week or two, but you’ll be fine,’ the doctor explained.
And, with a few snips, my chances of giving Helena another baby were over.
When I called Helena later, I didn’t enjoy keeping my secret vasectomy from her.
Knowing she’d end up disappointed was hard, but I honestly believed it was for the best for the whole family.
Now, she’s about to turn 40 and I know in time she’ll accept that another bub just wasn’t meant to be.
And I’ll be keeping tight-lipped about my secret snip!
Life was busy enough and another baby would be more