WITH MARTY SMITH

THE LAST WORD

The Advertiser - - OPINION -

(1) Laugh­ter is the best medicine: A real es­tate agent was show­ing a woman through an ex­pen­sive pen­t­house. “Here we have the mas­ter bed­room, main bath­room and den.” The woman in­ter­rupted sus­pi­ciously: “And den what?” (2) If pulled over by a po­lice of­fi­cer try not to say: “Hey, well done. You must have been do­ing about 120km/h just to keep up with me.” (3) Tongue twister: We surely shall see the sun shine soon. (4) In the Twit­ter­sphere: “Noth­ing is ever as funny as the next ta­ble over at the restau­rant thinks it is.” - US au­thor and tele­vi­sion per­son­al­ity Dave Holmes. (5) I am not mak­ing this up: More than a third of the world’s smok­ers are Chi­nese. “Peo­ple are stupid to­day be­cause all the in­ter­est­ing stuff is hid­den safely in books.” - sticker. “If a book about fail­ures doesn’t sell, is it a suc­cess?” - US co­me­dian Jerry Se­in­feld. 8097 - the area, in hectares, of the fam­ily es­tate in Devon, Eng­land, owned by Sir Richard Acland, a found­ing mem­ber of the Com­mon Wealth Party, a so­cial­ist po­lit­i­cal or­gan­i­sa­tion es­tab­lished in Bri­tain dur­ing World War II, and given to the Na­tional Trust. A can­non­ball is a party for the ar­tillery. To­day is Septem­ber 17, Teach­ers’ Day in the Cen­tral Amer­i­can coun­try of Hon­duras and the 260th day of the year. There are 105 days re­main­ing un­til the end of the year. On this day: 1883: Poet and gen­eral prac­ti­tioner Wil­liam Car­los Wil­liams, who died in 1963, was born in Ruther­ford, New Jer­sey. 1954: From the front page of Ade­laide’s af­ter­noon news­pa­per The News: “US singer John­nie Ray sang Some­body Stole My Gal to a dy­ing girl at the Royal Prince Al­fred Hos­pi­tal in Sydney.” 1955: A crowd of 88,053 saw Melbourne (8.16) de­feat Colling­wood (5.6) in the 1955 VFL Grand Fi­nal at the MCG. 1971: Ra­dio sta­tion 5AD listed Come Back Again, by Aus­tralian rock band Daddy Cool, as Ade­laide’s No. 1 hit sin­gle. 1987: Amanda Spratt, lead rider for the Aus­tralian Mitchel­ton-Scott team in the 2018 Women’s Tour Down Un­der, was born in Pen­rith, New South Wales. 2000: The toi­let block in Vic­to­ria Square was de­mol­ished. 2004: The Ade­laide Reper­tory The­atre’s pro­duc­tion of Noel Cow­ard’s Hay Fever, di­rected by Kerry Hail­stone, opened at the Arts The­atre in An­gas St, city. 2009: From the front page of The Ad­ver­tiser: “Flam­boy­ant TV chef Keith Floyd has died af­ter en­joy­ing a last gourmet meal of cham­pagne, oys­ters and par­tridge. Cel­e­brat­ing a friend’s birth­day, Floyd, who had bowel can­cer, said af­ter­wards: ‘ I have not felt this well in ages.’ Hours later he had a heart attack.” 2014: From the Eastern Courier Mes­sen­ger: “Un­ley Coun­cil has admit­ted its com­mu­nity con­sul­ta­tion in the lead-up to ap­prov­ing a picket fence around Un­ley Oval was flawed. A coun­cil re­port said res­i­dent sub­mis­sions on the pro­posal had gone miss­ing and were not viewed by some coun­cil­lors.” 2017: Sun­day Mail colum­nist Peter Go­ers gave the new Royal Ade­laide Hos­pi­tal a tick of ap­proval. 2017: Aus­tralian tele­vi­sion chef and au­thor Adam Liaw tweeted: “Has any­one ever ac­tu­ally sat Don­ald Trump down and told him he’s the Pres­i­dent? I mean, we all as­sume he knows but what if he doesn’t?”

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