HAVE A LAUGH

The Chronicle - - Lighter Side -

BIG­GER IS BET­TER

A TEXAN farmer comes to Aus­tralia for a va­ca­tion. He meets an Aussie farmer and gets talk­ing.

The Aussie shows off his big wheat field and the Texan says, “Oh! We have wheat fields that are at least twice as large”.

Then they walk around the ranch a lit­tle and the Aussie shows off his herd of cat­tle.

The Texan im­me­di­ately says, “We have longhorns that are at least twice as large as your cows”.

The con­ver­sa­tion has, mean­while, al­most died when the Texan sees a herd of kan­ga­roos hop­ping through the field. He asks, “And what are those”?

The Aussie gives the Texan an in­cred­u­lous look, and asks, “Don’t you have any grasshop­pers in Texas?”

SIGN LAN­GUAGE

A boy went into the lo­cal depart­ment store where he saw a sign on the es­ca­la­tor “Dogs must be car­ried on this es­ca­la­tor.”

The boy then spent the next two hours look­ing for a dog.

NAM­ING RIGHTS

Boy: My fa­ther’s name is Laugh­ing and my mother’s name is Smil­ing. Teacher: You must be kid­ding? Boy: No, that’s my brother. I’m Jok­ing.

HOME AD­DRESS

Po­lice: Where do you live? Me: With my par­ents. Po­lice: Where do your par­ents live? Me: With me.

Po­lice: Where do you all live? Me: To­gether.

Po­lice: Where is your house? Me: Next to my neigh­bour’s house?

Po­lice: Where is your neigh­bour’s house?

Me: You won’t be­lieve me if I tell you.

Po­lice: Tell me!

Me: Next to my house.

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