Combination of idiots fails to play safe
There was that time I checked into a hotel room and, overcome by a sudden and terrible thirst, went in search of the cocktail bar. Intending to charge the drinks back to my room, I didn’t bother to take my wallet. This was a mistake, as while I was imbibing, a hotel housemaid helped herself to my cash. She was apprehended and the hotel management made good my loss, the lesson being not to leave valuables lying around in hotel rooms.
Thus when we found ourselves in a smart hotel recently, we took care to place our cash and passports in the room safe before going to dinner. On returning, I immediately felt something was amiss. “My camera!” I cried. “It’s gone.” Then my wife joined the chorus. “And where’s my camera?” she raged. “And my mobile phone? I left them both recharging. We’ve been robbed,” she moaned. “Bastards!” I roared. “Let’s get security.” “Thank god we put the passports in the safe,” she said as we headed downstairs.
“Call themselves a five-star hotel!” I fumed, working myself into a rage.
“We’ve been robbed,” I announced when we reached the reception desk. “I want to see whoever’s in charge of security.” At that moment, a tall gentleman in a three-piece suit materialised. “Someone got into our room and stole our cameras and phones,” I told him. “Where did you last see them?” he asked. “In the room,” I said. “On the table.” “Our housekeeping staff,” he said silkily, “are instructed to place any items of value they find lying about in the room in the safe for security reasons,” he said.
“Oh,” I said, anger and indignation hissing from me like hot air from a balloon. “That’s all right, then. We’ll go and check.”
They were there, of course, power cords neatly wound and safely locked away.
“Do you think he thought we were idiots?” asked my wife.
“Absolutely no doubt about it,” I replied.