Love to change the world

The Daily Examiner - - NEWS - CHRIS SPARKS Spir­i­tual Mat­ters

HOW does it hap­pen?

How do we ever get to the point where our choices and de­ci­sions spell seem­ingly ir­re­versible ruin?

Th­ese ques­tions ham­mered at my brain as I read a mov­ing story — re­lated by Steve Far­rar in his book Point Man — this week.

He re­called how a friend — a po­lice of­fi­cer — was called to a fam­ily dis­tur­bance one morn­ing.

The woman was cry­ing and shout­ing at her hus­band whose home­made tat­toos in­di­cated he’d prob­a­bly spent time in prison.

As his back-up team ar­rived, he ap­proached the feud­ing pair.

The woman was yelling at her hus­band to fix what­ever he’d done to the car, so that she could leave.

He was laugh­ing at her con­temp­tu­ously.

She turned to the of­fi­cer and ap­pealed to him for help — ask­ing him to make her hus­band fix the car.

The back-up team now in­ter­vened, and moved the pair apart in or­der to try to find a so­lu­tion to the prob­lem.

Steve Far­rar’s friend then spoke to the hus­band to get his side of the story.

It ap­peared that the wife was hav­ing an af­fair and was leav­ing.

When asked if they had tried mar­riage coun­selling, he said he wasn’t in­ter­ested — that he was only in­ter­ested in get­ting his “things” back.

His wife had hid­den them. When his wife was asked about this, she said she wouldn't give them to him un­til he handed over one of the three video play­ers they owned.

Later, it was dis­cov­ered that his “things” con­sisted of the drugs he dealt in.

An­other of­fi­cer went to the wife's car and be­gan look­ing un­der the bon­net to see if he could spot the prob­lem.

The hus­band walked over, took the ig­ni­tion coil from his pocket, and handed it to the of­fi­cer.

He then told his wife that she could have one of the VCRs if he could have his things.

She fi­nally agreed and went into the house.

That was when Steve’s friend no­ticed two lit­tle girls nearby, watch­ing the two peo­ple they loved tear each other apart.

About eight and 10-years-old, each clung to a Cab­bage Patch doll.

At their feet were two small suit­cases.

The woman emerged with the VCR and put it into her car be­fore telling her hus­band where he could find his “things”.

They then agreed they would share what they had ac­cu­mu­lated in 10 years of mar­riage, equally.

So the hus­band pointed to the two lit­tle girls and said: “Well, which one do you want?”

With­out ap­par­ent emo­tion, the mother chose the older one. The girls looked at each other. The older one picked up her suit­case and climbed into her mother's car.

The younger girl, tears stream­ing down her face in be­wil­der­ment and still clutch­ing her Cab­bage Patch doll in one hand and her suit­case in the other, watched her big sis­ter and mother drive off.

Steve Far­rer’s po­lice of­fi­cer friend said later: “There I stood, the un­will­ing wit­ness to the death of a fam­ily.”

It’s no cliché to say that the only so­lu­tion to such a heartwrench­ing sit­u­a­tion as this, is a will­ing­ness to step aside from our pre­oc­cu­pa­tion with our own needs and recog­nise, value and em­brace the needs of oth­ers. Love is the real deal. That’s what Je­sus taught and demon­strated.

His kind of love trans­formed lives.

And trans­formed the world.

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