VISIT THE EKKA FOR FLUFFY LAMBS AND POLISHED PUMPKINS, BUT THE REAL SHOW STARTS WHEN THE CITY COMES TO THE COUNTRY
Over the hill in Brisbane they’re starting to wind down that quiet little affair known to absolutely no one as the Royal Queensland Show.
The Ekka, as it’s known to absolutely everyone, is about scoffing strawberry sundaes, stockpiling showbags and that other inevitable s-word you get when you combine too many dagwood dogs with rides like The Hangover.
The Ekka is also when the country wipes the mud off its R.M. Williams and comes to the city. Personally, I say save your popcorn and fairyfloss for a far more entertaining show: when the city comes to the country.
I’ve had the pleasure of taking many of my mates back home to the property where I grew up and there’s nothing quite like watching them pick their way across a cow paddock in heels or Havaianas.
I’ve had to pull the frozen peas out of the freezer for a friend who attempted to hug the wrong end of a horse – patting zoos have a lot to answer for.
There’s an open-door policy in the country. Everybody’s welcome, so don’t be alarmed if next door’s livestock wake you up wandering through the bedroom. And we may as well get all of the introductions out of the way early – the huntsman in the toilet is Incy Wincy (it’s ironic) and you can call the carpet snake on the veranda Cuddles. Everybody knows everybody in small towns, so the toocool-for-school act won’t fly.
That guy you cut off at the roundabout is the only snake catcher within 200km.
It pales in comparison to the unspeakable sin of taking a 10-minute shower as one unwitting sleepover guest found.
Dad was forced to run the cold water in the kitchen to smoke her out. She failed to realise baths are an annual occasion, reserved for when it rains and the tank overflows.
If the omnipresent coating of dust is getting to you, you could always take a dip in the dam – just be careful not to swallow any of the water, the cows have left a few surprises in there.
“THERE’S NOTHING QUITE LIKE WATCHING THEM PICK THEIR WAY ACROSS A COW PADDOCK IN HEELS OR HAVAIANAS.”